Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Thanksgiving Weekend

On Sunday, after the church service, dad and Joanne got married. I was nervous about the day in regards to how I would do emotionally. Well, it started out terribly as I only got 2 hours of sleep (insomnia due to hyperthyroidism but made worse due to being anxious). I made it through the service until the slideshow. Any slideshow, set to music, and I'm done. Thankfully Koen was acting out so I was in the back with him.

(Anneliese and I were witnesses...she is Joanne's oldest daughter and I am also the oldest daughter. I see now that this picture is weird but I'm not uploading a different one!)
When I say I was emotional throughout the day, I mean that it was a huge day for mourning my mom. I just kept saying over and over in my head, `I miss mom. I want my mommy.'. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for dad and Joanne and they know it. They are perfect for each other at this point in life. I really like Joanne and her daughters. I'm just sad for what will never be, but, I do recognize what can be. I felt bad for crying, because then people might think that I wasn't supportive, but at the same time, I didn't want to be shouting `Yippee!' from the mountain tops, because then I felt I wouldn't be honouring my mom.

(The boys. Poor Koen was freezing).
The next day, after a wonderful 7 hour sleep, I felt all better again. I have had to adapt the bedtime routine of an infant. Warm shower, calming activities, massage with lavendar lotion (oh how I wish Gary was a massage therapist), and lullaby music playing all night.

(Me and dad)
The last time I wore this dress, 7 months ago, I was 25lbs heavier!

(Dad and Joanne).
I'm currently editing photos so I'll have some better ones on our site later.

Kai was a disaster for pictures before hand but did a great job walking down the aisle. He got some nifty treats from Opi (my dad). In the box were all of Kai's favourite things; ride on lawnmower, motorcyle, seadoo etc.

(Kai loves Opi so much)
We had 3 HUGE meals this weekend and I probably gained about 4lbs which I guess is healthy. Great, great food. The entire family has been sick with colds and I thought that I had escaped it, but alas, my nose and throat are super itchy right now. Hyperthyroid + cold= not pretty. I find that any stress or anxiety puts my hyperthryoid symptoms in overdrive so I'm hoping for a relaxing week.

And finally, our van. It is a 1999 Honday Odyssey. Our transmission has been finicky and it finally died yesterday. Today, I had it towed for free thanks to my wonderful sister, Maria, and her BCAA. You know, as she was in it while it died. Kai was at preschool while it happened, but boy, he would've loved the tow truck! Clover Towing, very nice guy.
So, I have never paid more than $500.00 for car repairs. Well, a new transmission is probably the priciest thing you can do. Who knew that old minivans had terrible transmissions? Even Hondas!! I will find out tomorrow if its worth it to put in a new one at the cost of $3400.00. Yes, half of the cost that we paid for the freaking van. I completely trust the guy that is doing it by the way. Somehow, this HUGE freaking amount is not stressing me out. I just feel that it's absolutely ridiculous.

In conclusion, here are some Kai comments:
1. We ate waffles for lunch and Kai said it looked like the moon. Then I ate half of it and he said it was now a `lower case moon':)
2. Kai said that if I didn't let him watch tv before bed that he might freak out. Freak out?
3. We were watching Kai's 1 year old DVD and he said, `Look mommy, there I am. That was 20 years ago'.
4. Upon seeing me in my dress for the wedding, `Mommy, you look so handsome!'.

And some cool info on the Koen front:
1. He took 5 steps this evening!! Go buddy go!
2. He says `dada' when excited and `mama' when he wants to be held or get out of his crib. He knows I'll listen:)
3. Koen has been a little under the weather, a little fussier than usual. He's acting like he's teething but I see nothing. Poor little guy.

All right, time to lay on the couch and watch some `Biggest Loser'.

**Hyperthyroidism update: I will go to the endocrinologist on Monday and I am looking forward to it. I can walk long distances and I am thankful for that. However, I cannot do anything requiring more cardio than that which is frustrating. I feel like all my muscles have gone to mush. Once I get better (and I will!!!), I'll have to start all over again. Oh well, done it twice before (post C-section) so I'll do it again. Worst symptoms are insomnia and tachycardia**


  1. i prayed for you on saturday! regardless of what people thought of you, YOU faced the day as you did, and you did well - honored your mom and also felt happiness for your dad and Joanne. tough day - you made it through!
    sorry about the van :( L.A.M.E.!

    love kai's expressions, especially the 'freak out' one :)

  2. You looked beautiful, Louise!

    Who cares what people thought about your tears? It seems to me you show such emotional maturity by acknowledging your grief without letting it get in the way of your support of the marriage and the growth of your relationship with Joanne and her daughters.

    That really, really stinks about your van. I am glad the price tag isn't stressing you out too much! Good luck with the decisions about repairs.

    Your boys are so cute and growing up so fast! Looking forward to some good playtime at Christmas.

  3. xo
    I'm pretty sure everyone will totally understand that you would have both happy and sad feelings on the day your dad remarries. I'm positive they feel compassion and empathy, not judgement. Who among us can judge someone who has lost their mom? Seriously.

    Sorry about the van. Good luck at the endocrinologists!

  4. You handled yourself better than I would've! Congrats to your Dad & Joanne. Yay Maria!! :)

  5. hey! I responded to your question in my comments section, but the comment looks like it is from Tamie. It's not, its from me!

  6. Louise, you're wonderful. I am so looking forward to seeing you and all your boys this weekend. Hugs for now.

  7. Totally reasonable to feel the way you did at the wedding. I think you handled it very well. Nobody can rightly judge you for that.

    I love the Kai quotes. They always make me laugh.