Monday, September 28, 2009


(Check out his smile...he was so pumped that he could make music with the vent)

I feel 50% better but I feel like I'm only half alive. Does that make sense? I feel really out of it. I feel like my IQ has dropped 30 points. I don't really make a lot of sense. Anyway, my heart rate is still 100+bpm BUT I don't really notice it anymore. Worst part of all this is the insomnia. I'm exhuasted and can't fall asleep. I usually lay in bed for 2+ hours. I've lost a total of 14lbs in the 3.5 weeks that I've been sick.

My body craves very fatty things. Chocolate milk, pizza, McDonalds. Gross. I admit that I have sent Gary out to pick up a large pepporoni pizza or McDonalds' several times. I feel like I'm pregnant without the good part at the end. I'll be heading back to the doctor tomorrow although I have no idea what he will say. Keep doing the same thing? Oh man, I am REALLY craving chocolate milk now.

Over the past 2 days, I have been able to resume regular activities. Family walk to Extra Foods, church, cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming etc. It take A LOT out of me but I've felt so useless for so long.

Kai has his `party day' at preschool tomorrow. I hope Koen cooperates so I can get some pictures of Kai singing etc. Oh man, I hope Kai behaves. I can see him being ridiculous and yelling the song or something. I may have to threaten to take away Bubi (his blankie) again. I don't know if this is okay parenting or not, but nothing works better than that. Kai has driven me a little crazy lately. He is not listening. So frustrating. I'm assuming this is the age of it and it will pass.

Today we went to school to visit Gary and other staff members. Kai got to help Gary in the lab and he collected bunsen burners. What 3 year old knows all about Bunsen burners? I love it:)

(Koen taking advantage of the fact the Kai was having `quiet time'.)

We gave Kai his personal DVD player with `Cars' in it and told him that when he wakes up in the morning, just turn it on and watch it. We were hoping for an extra hour of sleep as he's always up before 7am. Well, in comes Kai at 5:45 am saying `Is it morning??'. Grrr.

We took some engagement photos on Saturday, check em out. Aren't they cute?

Yesterday Koen took two steps. I said `Gary, Koen just took 2 steps!!'. Gary said, `He did it for me the other day too, I thought he did it all the time.'. He never told me that my son walked for the first time?!!! I wouldn't say he is really walking though. He just shuffled a little. When he takes maybe 3 good steps, then I'll count it:) He brings me so much joy. His giggles and smiles go straight to my heart. I love this stage. I think 9 months of age is so much fun. He is a whole lot easier to take care of than Kai right now, that's for sure!

Okay, time to head to the couch to watch `House'. I'd say that the positive aspects to being this sick are:
1. Loss of baby weight.
2. Learn how to relax because I have to.
3. I can eat what I want.
4. Makes me appreciate my health (well, when I get it back again).
5. Makes me respect my thryoid.

Bon nuit.


  1. Such cute photos! Really adorable.

    I'm glad you're getting better but it stinks that you still feel so rotten!!

    Micah is also not listening right now. Let's say it's the age and remind ourselves it will pass. But I agree that it's super frustrating!!

    I really liked the engagement photos. I plan to comment on that blog. Nice work!

  2. it was so much fun to see you and the boys today, I want to say thank you, that might not make sense to you. but those few minutes with your amazing boys made me smile inside.

  3. these pictures of koen are just awesome :)
    i hear you on the not listening part (with Kai)...Taeya is VERY slow - quite a doddler - drives me crazy!
    Hope you continue to get better!

  4. Oh man, those photos are CUTE! I love the lighting and colours in the photos of him in the hallway. So great. I'm glad you feel 50% better, though I wish you a speedy recovery to 100%. Feeling half alive and all foggy mentally is the beta blockers. I've been on them before, and they made me feel half dead too. Maybe if the thyroid medication is working you will be able to cut back on the beta blockers? I used to cut my tiny pills in quarters! :p It takes some fiddling to find the perfect balance for your body (but fiddle with your doctor's knowledge and support, not on your own).

    Sorry Kai's being a handful. I've always found three to be WAY harder than two years old. They are just so PERSISTENT, and that much smarter, but no more cooperative than a two year old. Temper tantrums are a half an hour long, and discipline...grrrr...

    When you had Kai, Ayden was three. I remember you writing that you couldn't wait to use time outs, and I was knee deep with two kids in rotating time outs; I wanted to gag if I heard the word 'time out' ONE MORE TIME! That made me laugh.

    Three is hard. But it doesn't last forever. :)
    And don't worry so much about his behaviour in school. His teachers are masters at behaviour modification in three and four year olds; it is pretty much 90% of what they do!! It is totally appropriate for him to be a dorky goof at preschool. By high school, you can worry. Now, not so much! Matthew is hilarious for not singing at all, unless it's the chorus of his favourite song; then he yells. Very dramatic. Once he fell over backwards on purpose during a school play and hit his head on the ground so hard it bounced. His teacher almost had a heart attack because she thought he might have knocked himself out cold, but he was just being theatrical and wasn't hurt.

    Hang in there! Get better soon!
    I'm over my flu. Is there anything I can do for you this week?

  5. aw, i hope you start to feel better soon...
    i cant wait till i can start taking photos of my babe like you are...they are so cute.

  6. I love the pictures of Koen! I'd love to comment on parenting, but I have no experience... I'm sure you are doing a great job though.