My mom passed away a week before Mother's Day so celebrating my mother-in-law one week later, while six months pregnant with my first child, was not my favourite Mother's Day (hello, grief and hormones!) The year we went on a family walk–to the grocery store–was also not my first choice when I think of honouring a mom. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother-in-law and she deserves to be celebrated, but the timing was not ideal. I enjoy a good family walk but the location left a lot to be desired. So, with nine Mother's Days under my belt, I have a little experience with this, and I would like to share what I've learned.
Five Tips to a Better Mother's Day:
1. Be clear with expectations. I'm a girl who loves words of affirmation. I want a card telling me why I'm awesome (and not just "Happy Mother's Day!") I have learned that even though everyone in my family knows I love affirmation, that doesn't mean I will get it unless I encourage my husband to make sure they are prepared. Thanking me for birthing him did count as an adequate compliment from Kai last year.
2. Be realistic. Your kids aren't going to sleep in until 9 AM if they get up at 6 AM every day. Your day will probably be pretty close to what it normally is–don't envision a personal spa in your living room, amazing breakfast set forth in your kitchen, and magical children that all get along. If anything remotely awesome happens, you'll be pleasantly surprised.
3. Treat yourself. It could be an ice cream cone or maybe even a new dress (that's what I did!) but give yourself a pat on the back in the form of something you'd really like. Make sure it's within your budget or you could be dealing with feelings of guilt which could also ruin Mother's Day.
4. Reflect beforehand. The day before, take some time to think about your children and what you appreciate about each one. This sounds cheesy but reflection really helps with perspective. Yes, you want to be pampered and appreciated, but it's also a time to be thankful for the role that you have.
5. Don't compare. One of my favourite quotes is "Comparison is the thief of joy" by Theodore Roosevelt. Now, this year we are doing something awesome (going to Whistler!) but before you compare or get jealous, remember, one year we walked to the grocery store. (PS Not my husband's fault, we all have periods of "survival mode" and that was one of them!)
As a mom to biological and foster children, I am thankful for the unique and important role I have each and every day. It's tough, much harder than I thought, but we can do hard things. And seriously, at the end of the day when they are all asleep, they are so cute. I hope you have a good Mother's Day, and if not, I got my dress at H&M if you're looking for something similar.
What has been your experience with Mother's Day? Anything else you would add to this list?