Blessed

Koen is sitting in the bjorn as we speak, sleeping away. My back is just about to break but him having a good nap is more important to me. Not trying to sound like a martyr, if he sleeps well in the day, he's just a happier boy:) Yesterday, I fed him and then 2 hours later, I fed him again and he fell asleep. He then slept for 3 hours in his bed!! This was def. his longest day time nap and I was sooooo happy! He has been sleeping a solid 7-8 hours per night which is just awesome. He did sleep in his bed for an hour this morning (again feeding two hours apart) so I played a bit with our new lens extenders. I'm not sure how useful they will be as they only focus if you are about 2 inches from the subject but it'll be good for ring shots I guess!

(My engagement ring. It's a bit blurry as I couldn't stabilize the lens enough just using one hand. I don't wear my wedding ring...its just a band. It is smaller than my engagement ring and when I was pregnant with Kai my finger were so swollen that I stopped wearing it. On a side note, Gary never wears his ring. Something about teaching PE, playing sport, and it being uncomfortable? )

(Not sure if this is inappropriate but here's a picture of me pulling out my belly fat/excess skin. I'm about 1 day away from starting a serious work out routine because my weight has remained the same for 2 months and if my weight loss post Kai's birth is any indication...I won't be losing any more. The plan is to lose 10lbs and 3% of my body fat in 2 months. I know it's not about weight but a good 10 lbs would make my clothes fit more nicely. Our scale also reads body fat so that's why I added that in there).

I've been thinking a lot about what to do when my maternity leave is over. The plan is to go back to teaching part time in December. I'm concerned about finding daycare for my boys. In the past, we have had 2 great stay at home moms so maybe they could take on 2 kids? I think we could actually manage our mortgage and all that jazz on just Gary's salary but things wouldn't be as comfortable as they are now. Could I, or would I want to, do more studio photography sessions instead? I say studio because then I don't need child care, it's in our basement. I could do it while they are napping or put a little Diego on:) If I did just one shoot a week, that would give me some fun times with editing and learning more in that department. We have been trying to just stick with 1 session per month because of child care and also, we want it to stay fun and a hobby. I do enjoy teaching and being out of the home but it is truly exhausting. Maybe I'm just remembering how it was teaching when I was pregnant and hauling my 8 month self up and down those stairs to face a room of 30 wild grade 9's.

(The ring my mom bought me when i turned 18. Talking about my mom...last night we opened a jar of applesauce that my mom had made. Kai was eating it and we were talking about oma. It brought tears to my eyes that Kai was eating what my mom had made. I think my dad still has some jars. I'll have to get another and just never eat it, although, she would want me to eat it:)

Also, I've been thinking about a 3rd baby. If you have ever done the true colours workshop, I am as gold as you can get (routine, scheduled, time orientated, plan ahead, need control etc). I just like to know, as much as I can, what is going to be happening. Some days, i feel like selling everything that Koen has grown out of and getting rid of all our baby stuff. Other days, like today, when Kai said, `You should have another baby boy!' I think that maybe I should try to do just that. When I was being stitched up, my doctor/ob/gyn/surgeon said that I could maybe have just one more based on the thinness of my uterus. I believe that was the reasoning she gave. I would def. need to check in and figure out what exactly she was talking about as I wasn't 100% with it.

In April of last year we had been trying for nearly a year to get pregnant with Koen. I had just come to the point where I felt peace in the sense that Kai may have been our only biological child. A week later, Koen was conceived. I wish I could tell you the story (yes, of the events surrounding his conception) but I don't want my family to be mortified so if you ever want to know, feel free to ask me:) All I have to say is that I am so thankful to God that He has blessed us with another beautiful, healthy boy. Koen is so special to us and today when he was smiling at Kai, it brought tears to my eyes. I know they won't always get along the best but these guys are going to have a bundle of fun together. Motherhood is tough. Really tough. Emotionally. Physically. I never realized it was a 24/7 job until I was well into it. However, I've always known that I wanted to be a mom so I'm so thankful that God has blessed me with Gary, Kai and Koen.