Saturday, December 26, 2015

The Gift of Comfort

I'm not a gift person.  I stress out buying them for others because I'm a people pleaser and I'm afraid they won't like it – I don't want to put them in the awkward position of pretending.  I like spending money on practical things so throwing out money to buy a gift because I'm supposed to goes against how I feel.  Sure, I like to buy my kids things that they need want "so badly", or maybe something for Gary if I know he'd love it, but other than that, I'd prefer not to.  I rarely get excited about anything given to me which is strange because I'm an expressive person.  I'm a sentimental girl who loves words of affirmation (a card can most definitely make me cry!) and appreciate the practicality of a gift card. Oh, and anything food related is always enjoyed.

What was my favourite gift this Christmas?  A pillow – but not just any pillow.  My mom passed away ten years ago and although I have photos and a few keepsakes, it is hard to truly recall the comfort and closeness of our relationship at this stage of grief and loss.  To be honest, sometimes I don't want to feel that connection to her because it just makes the reality harder.  As a family, we have very few personal items of hers around.  I have a special ring and some of her dishes and, well, I guess nothing would ever make it enough.  This Christmas, my dad's wife Joanne, made all of us sisters a pillow out of my mom's special bathrobe.  

I love this gift.  I cuddled up to that pillow in bed and felt like I was hugging my mom.  It was comforting after all of these years and yet I was tempted to remove it from my bed because I felt so much.  I think I might even go as far as buying her favourite face cream and putting it on the pillow as it would remind me of when she would come and kiss us goodnight before we fell asleep.  I highly recommend saving clothing from a loved one that has passed to make a pillow or quilt (well, I can't sew so it requires asking someone else.)   I know others have made quilts of their kid's baby clothing to remember just the sweet days that have passed by.

Do you have a special way to connect to those that you have lost?  What kind of gift do you appreciate most?



  1. That's amazing - such a thoughtful gift!!!!

    1. I know :) I hope others can use this idea if they are looking for something to help them in their grief.

  2. That is so beautiful and special! WOW!
    PS. your glasses!! i noticed them in a previous post - so cute! Did you just start wearing glasses? Or is this a switch from contacts to glasses?

    1. They are reading glasses. I also need to get glasses for seeing further away but not sure I want to pay more $$ :)