Sunday, February 03, 2008

My a few more than 100 words

I've been reading the book `Just Walk Across the Room' lately and it encourages us to tell our story in 100 words or less. This is way more than 100 words, but, I am a fast talker so this would take about 1 minute which seems good enough to me:) I'm going to be pretty vulnerable here, so, here we go!

I was born into a Christian family and grew up believing that if I worked hard, I could achieve whatever I wanted. I liked having control and I liked knowing why things happen the way that they do. Everything in my life seemed to make sense until I was an adult. Then, I felt like I had less control. The guy that I thought I wanted to be with, no longer wanted to be with me. My mom got cancer and once it was in her bones, there was no chance of recovery. Why did this happen? I wanted to find a reason for it all, especially with my mom. Was it so I could grow closer with my sisters? Was it so I would have greater empathy and understanding? Was it so I would appreciate my mom more? There must've been an easier way to learn those lessons! I really came to rely on the verse in Proverbs that says `Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding'. I need to trust Him and not try to figure it out. It doesn't make sense now, but He knows the big picture. In no way is this easy, I'm still sad but I've stopped trying to figure it out and I know that He is in control. In regards to the man for me, God had Gary in store for me. He was well worth the wait. God knew who I needed in my life and helped join us together (along with the help of my entire science 9 class).

Recently, we've had to deal with this again. We got pregnant with Kai very easily, and this time around, it's not happening. We've started going for tests but it is very frustrating and worrisome. I find myself trying to figure out why and what I'm supposed to be learning from all this. I know we are so blessed to have a child, I would really just love to have a sibling for Kai. I would like to be pregnant just one more time. So, for now, I am working on trusting God and his plan for Gary, Kai and I.


  1. Thanks for sharing, taht was vulnerable, nice work...I got about 100 different words to describe the last four days at Bamfield. Hope all is well.

  2. Anonymous2:02 AM

    ldog: ken jsut finished a serieso nt hat book. doug and i liked the series. i might get aroudn to reading the book eventually.
    it will happen.