Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Humble Confidence

I am pretty confident.  This doesn't mean that I think I'm great at everything, but it means that I feel very comfortable with who I am and what my abilities are.  I know I can continue learning to grow each and every day.   I'm thankful for this because from the ages of 12-15, I did not like who I was.  On the outside, I had a lot of friends and did well in school.  On the inside, I thought I was ugly, fat, boring, and would never have a boyfriend.   I was very hormonal and although I loved my family, I also felt embarrassed hanging out with them and my emotions were all over the place.  Angry, sad, happy, lonely.  So many emotions all the time, often taken out on my family, which was my safe place.  Why am I sharing this?  Well, I've been thinking a lot lately about confidence as we enter a new territory with Kai.

Our Kai Bear is confident and gifted.  When I say `gifted', I mean it.  He excels in Math, Science and Reading and is an enrichment program for Math. I say this so that you can understand why this is a bit tricky.  We have heard from his teachers, from the beginning, that he is an excellent student but that he needs to be reminded to be humble.  They've also addressed that he is competitive and needs to remember that playing well as a team is more important.  I know this.  He knows this.  We talk about being humble and team players, too.

My question is, how does one demonstrate confidence and pride in their work while remaining humble?  I'm proud of him.  I want to recognize that he is a hard worker.  I want to recognize that he gives 100% in most things.  I want to recognize that he's using that amazing brain that God gave him.  I want to recognize that I think he includes and encourages his siblings so well.   I don't want him to feel that he can't share his accomplishments because it will sound like bragging.  I don't want him to feel like he can't be competitive.  I don't actually see him bragging or being exclusive, but maybe it happens more in his social circle of friends.  Maybe it's mentioned as something for all kids to work on at this age.  Maybe we should put him in a team sport to work on it.

I'm wondering if any of you have struggled with this growing up and have any words of advice to give.  Have any of you have navigated through these issues with your own kids and have some wisdom to share?  Is there a book you'd recommend?  I would love to hear other perspectives or words of wisdom on maintaining a humble confidence.

Thank you.


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