I'm Next; A Minor Freak Out

I'm a little freaked out. As soon as Jan had her baby, I realized that I'M NEXT. What am I freaked out about?

1. I'm a little freaked out that it feels like forever since I've had a baby and our family works/runs/functions so well and I don't want to lose this easy balance. However, I am also way too excited to welcome a little cute baby girl into this family and I know we will adjust.

{I love looking in these drawers!! I'm mostly excited about leggings and ruffled skirts.}

2. I'm a little worried about shooting three weddings in a row at 35, 36 and 37 weeks pregnant. I hope it isn't too hard on me physically/mentally and I really, really, really hope that I can work hard and finish editing them before babe is here so that I can have one full month off. In case you don't know, photographing a wedding is not just physically tiring, it's more mentally exhausting...it's go, go, go, non stop thinking/talking/engaging etc. I also wish I could wear running shoes and yoga pants for it:)

Oh ya, and I wouldn't mind seeing into the future so I could know how realistic it is shooting a wedding when babe is 2-6 months of age...hoping she takes a bottle!

{This mobile is not what I envisioned but it will have to do. My nieces `helped' me make the one with the hand stitching or whatever you call what I did. The rest were crazy glued:)}

3. I'm a lot freaked out about how this baby is coming into the world. I'm a planner and to be 34 weeks pregnant and not know whether it will be a VBA2C or C-section is a little frustrating. What does it depend on? Well, I have an ultrasound on April 30th. They will try to determine the baby's size based on that. If the baby looks like it will have a birth weight in the 8lb range (it could happen right?!), then a VBA2C is a lot more likely. I know ultrasounds are off. Koen was supposed to be 8.5lbs and he was 9.5lbs. Want to know my reasons for everything?

{I'm planning on replacing at least one photo with a newborn one or just taking a newborn one and enlarging it on a huge canvas because 8X10's are so small:)}

VBA2C PROS:

-Faster recovery!!!! Also less chance of respiratory problems for babe but really, it's more about the recovery. I like my exercise and I don't like major abdominal surgery. And seriously, the first 3 days are so painful. To me, anyway. Not being able to exercise for 6 weeks is tough for me and I hope to be playing football again in the fall:) Also, if my Graves Disease comes back (likely), I want to be in top physical form to tackle it.

-I've gone through labour before so I know how it goes. I made it almost all the way to the end (pushing for a couple of hours) so I know I can do it that part.

VBA2C CONS:

-Could go all the way through labour and end up with a C-section which makes infection a higher risk. I have about a 66% chance of success.

-I have several factors against me: 2 C-sections, babies over 8lbs 12 oz, had to be augmented with oxytocin last time

-higher chance of uterine rupture (about 1/150) and 1/2000 chance baby had brain damage or dies. My midwife was telling me that 1/2000 means something is so rare which helped me a bit. HOwever, to me, that doesn't sound rare. In the pamphlet, they equate it with being diagnosed with breast cancer in a year...something that seems likely in this family of mine:) We've had a few random things happen that I just can't risk it (mom gets cancer and dies, dad has heart attack and dies and is brought back, dad has cancer, all sisters pregnant at once etc).

-risk of shoulder dystocia (I don't care as much about broken bones but I do care about nerve damage and lack of oxygen to the brain).

{I love how big this dresser is. It's holding all of her clothes up to 12 months plus all the cloth diapers, crib sheets and receiving blankets.}

THE PLAN

I have my ultrasound on April 30th. I do think this baby is smaller as I'm just measuring only a touch bigger. With the boys I was always 1-2 weeks bigger. I have a tentative C-section date set as May 22nd. I wish it was a bit later but I didn't realize it was up to me to call and set it. In case you didn't know, May 22nd is in 39 more sleeps. I still don't know if the Langley OB's would take me on for sure but I think it depends a lot on the ultrasound.

MY HEART

I have been having nightmares (normal for 3rd trimester) for the past 2 months which usually involve murder and death. I think putting my baby at risk is just too scary for me and unless she's a little one, I will go for the C-section and suck up the recovery. I will appreciate my midwives role in making this my best C-section ever. I will have my sister donate breast milk for the first feed and/or more (my kids have both had low blood sugar and needed to be supplemented up to 24 hours), I will have Gary do skin to skin while I'm in recovery etc.

It's hard because I don't have my mom to come home with me and take care of me and babe for the first week but I do have a helpful husband and grandparents willing to help take the older boys while we are in the hospital.

So, until I meet with my OB on May 2nd, I will remain calm and just be prepared for whatever the decision will be. Praying that it is super duper clear.

Have a beautiful weekend! I'm looking forward to seeing friends, taking a few photos, going on a family outing and holding baby Jack again.

Love, Louise

Baby Jack

My sister Jantina and her husband Doug had their baby boy!!! Jan always said she would go two weeks over, just like she did with her daughter. However, baby Jack had other plans! Last time, Jan was induced and it was a pretty terrible experience. It ended with her stalling at 5cm in a lot of pain and having a C-section. Then, she ended up back in the hospital due to a suspected blood clot and infection.

This time she had a lovely midwife and used more natural forms of inducement (is that a word?). She used Evening Primrose Oil and it worked! The plan was to do whatever it took to avoid another C-section. On Tuesday night, Jan called me at 9pm and let me know that she was in the hospital. I met her there at about 10pm.

She was having terrible back labour and was in triage waiting to see if she could be admitted. She was 4cm dilated and contractions were pretty regular.

They did admit her after an hour and by 11am, Jan was happily sucking back on the gas:)

Jan said from the moment she was pregnant that she wanted an epidural and any other drugs but definitely did not want a C-section. Therefore, we wanted to hold off on the epidural for as long as possible. (risk of repeat C-section is higher if epidural is given too early)

The gas worked wonderfully. When she was checked a couple hours later, she was 5cm.

Sometime between 1-2am, she was given an epidural. It took about half an hour to kick in and get comfortable and then we all tried to get a little nap in before she was checked again at 3:30am.

Jan was at 6cm for a couple of hours. You can see below that she was much happier with her epidural! She was still able to move around in the bed so that was good. I decided to go home at 4am as things were moving a little slower than we had anticipated and also, I have two boys, and a baby girl in utero, to take care of.

{I wasn't here for this part but this is the gist of it}

Jan got to 10cm at about 9am. She pushed for an hour but his positioning was not good. The doctor came in and said she would need a C-section and Jan basically said no. She pushed like crazy and the midwife continually manually repositioned the baby and then when the doctor returned closer to 11am, he said that he would be able to vacuum the baby out. After 2 pushes with the vacuum, out he came!

Baby Jack Lucas was born on his due date! He was 8lbs on the dot. He had to be admitted to the NICU because he had a high temperature and high white blood cells. He will be there for a couple of days. Jan and Jack are both on on antibiotics. She is able to go to the NICU to feed him but still, so hard to be separated by a 5 minute walk from your baby. They aren't sure exactly what is going on so hopefully there are some answers tomorrow.

I got to visit him this evening and hold him for a minute or two. He looks like a skinnier baby Koen with a big mix of Doug in there. I'm pretty sure I just slept 2 hours last night. Yikes. I'll be honest that I'm freaking out a bit that I am next. I'm pretty sure I'll have a C-section but if it's a small baby, I will try for a VBA2C...so, we wait.

I'm so, so proud of Jan for not giving up. She was hooked up to so many things (epidural, catheter, IV, breast pumps etc) but continued on giving 100%. Yay!!

Welcome to the world Little Jack! We are happy to add another boy to the mix and oh my goodness, it is so ridiculous that all 5 of us will have kids within 6 months of each other. Crazy.

Family Day in the Sun!

Monday was beautiful. I think we broke a temperature record in Cloverdale of 21.5 degrees. I never realize how much the rain/clouds affect me until we have a gorgeous day or two like this weekend. We had a very busy weekend but Easter Monday was a time for us to just be with our family.

We went to check out an area of Tynehead that we had never walked before. It's a 4.6 km paved loop called the Perimeter Trail. Kai biked the entire thing, without training wheels, and did so with such a great attitude. I was so proud of him.

Koen did ride his tricycle the whole time too although we push him with the handle to help him keep up:) I don't know why it was so hard on my body (really my pubic bone..yikes, so much of the relaxin hormone going on, feels like it's broken) but it felt so good to be outside in the sun. With sunglasses. And sunscreen. And a short sleeved shirt!

We stopped for a snack halfway:) Thumbs up for snack time! By the way, upon seeing myself in these black workout pants I said `They make my thighs look so big!' and Gary replied `I don't think it's the pants.'. Yes, he did. But you know what, it's okay. Gary is truthful and...well, himself:) He still thinks I'm beautiful, big thighs and all.

I cannot wait for summer! Or really, just some more sunny weather. Our summer will not be very adventurous this year as we will likely just do day activities like the beach, waterslides, PNE etc. We might do a trip to Green Lake but we will see. It will just be a whole lot of family time getting to know our little girl:)

By the way, my sister Jantina is due tomorrow!! Can't wait for a new baby to hold. I think the plan is for me to be there for the birth and I can't wait!

Have a wonderful week.

Love, Louise

PS Koen said his name is Koen Jacob Daniel Sedin:)

{And here's my lovely assistant, Gary, from a session at Lynn Canyon this weekend. Usually we just do weddings together but my rock scrambling ability is slightly lacking right now for obvious reasons:)}

Not Handsome

Just a quick update:

1. Fun times. It works in case you were wondering:)

2. Koen on being handsome: `I don't want to be handsome. I want to look like Kai!'. ha ha

{Koen would only smile if I took a picture of him with Bubi. Isn't he cute?}

3. Having Braxton Hicks like crazy. It started out just in the evenings and now it's all day long. Reminds me of the contractions I had when I went from 1-3cm with Kai. Uncomfortable but not painful. Baby is getting big and long and I guess my torso is short because there's just not a lot of room for food or breathing when I'm sitting. Six more weeks! Not ready yet, that's for sure. I'm able to sleep at least 8 hours a night now so I have got to get a whole lot more uncomfortable before I'm ready:) Baby room is now ready!

4. Kai is obsessed with `Where's Waldo' books. One of the characters they have to look for is Odlaw. Koen asked if it was the `Odlaw Senators':)

{A genuine Kai smile. I love it. He is handsome. By the way, this kid kicks my butt in `Where's Waldo'.}

5. The boys are crazy over board games. Hours a day. Love it! (mostly love it because I don't have to play with them. Sounds terrible but you know what I mean).

6. Easter has been good. So interesting having age appropriate conversations with them about it. Kai was nearly in tears on Friday when talking about Good Friday and how Jesus died on the cross. He has become a lot more sensitive lately, maybe it's an age thing? I love talking to the kids about grace and forgiveness because they (especially Kai) get it...I mean, how many times a day do we talk about being sorry for the naughty decisions that they (or I) make.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend.

Love, Louise

PS Gas prices are CRAZY.

The Boys

{Pictures in this post by Megan Edelman}

KAI

-we ended last summer with a bit of a biking accident for him so he has been petrified of biking again. Understandably. I couldn't keep up with him and he went straight into a busy road and ran into a curb head on. Nothing major but still, he had some major lack of control (forgot to brake). So this week we started biking again. In just two days he has made so much progress and I am very proud of him (and he is proud of himself). I helped him the first day to help build his confidence and then Gary worked with him the second day to work on his skills a bit more.

-he had his first filling today. He did a great job and apparently loves the funny tickly feeling of the freezing. He likes feeling `weird'. Great...keep teenage Kai away from drugs and alcohol!

-his favourite part of school is the before and after school care because they get to play hockey and basketball. He is obsessed with sports to the point that when he realized a few weeks ago what day it was, proclaimed `IT'S WOMEN'S CURLING CHAMPIONSHIP TODAY!!'. He especially loves watching hockey and can remember what the score was when the Canucks last played the same team. He only gets to watch the first period but then gets up early to watch the highlights.

-is a great big brother in that he gets up with Koen and gets him breakfast. Then, they play a board game together while watching sports highlights. This means I get to `sleep in' until about 7:30pm each day. The boys still fight daily (except for Monday which was the best day ever) and it drives me crazy.

-looking forward to being a big brother and enjoys feeling the baby's kicks and high fives:)

-I didn't even notice when this happened but Kai used to suck his thumb when he was little and eventually just sucked it for 5 minutes when going to sleep. He no longer sucks his thumb.

-chatterbox. He did not get this from Gary.

KOEN

-a monkey

-is very independent and can play for hours on his own. He does love to race cars with his brother, that is probably his favourite thing to do.

-goes to bed at 6:30pm and wakes up 6:30-7am.

-loves every single type of food in the world. He will eat anything.

-loves being outside and playing basketball and soccer.

-rarely serious, always goofy (Kai is and was a lot more serious). One of the times when Koen is serious is when we look at his baby pictures. He wants to know why he was sad or happy and will actually start crying if he sees pictures of himself crying.

-loves Bubi (his blankie) so much.

-very laid back and willing to try anything. He never really did the `terrible two's'.

-his big brother is his best friend. He is really looking forward to having a baby sister. He enjoys rubbing my belly and singing songs to her (especially `You are my Sunshine'). He always asks at every meal `Does baby like it?'. I'm nervous that Koen will not get as much attention anymore once baby is here, but am so thankful for this time that we have had together, when Kai is at school, one on one.

-also a chatterbox.

GARY

-busy

-a wonderful dad who gets the kids' sillies out as I am unable to wrestle or chase them much anymore.

-a great husband that makes great meals numerous times a week even though I'm the one home all day.

Yay for our little family. They exhaust me, and I can't believe that they are mine, but I love them to pieces. Can't wait to meet my little girl in just 7 more weeks. I wonder if she will look just like the boys or maybe, just maybe, this kiddo will look more like her momma.

Have a great week! We're off to Costco for some snacks:)

Love, Louise

Bellies and Money

{Apple juice popsicles while wearing winter coats? Yup, life in the Lower Mainland right now. Kai is so freckly and will likely be covered head to to like Gary.}

{Next sister due? Jan is due in just a week! These were taken a few weeks ago. Here she is with Sami who just turned 2.}

{Below: Jantina 39 weeks Me 32 weeks}

**Somehow below turned into a rant about being wise with money...not trying to offend anyone, just offering my opinion!! I've watched one too many episodes of `Til Debt Do Us Part'**

We have started giving Kai an allowance. Besides helping us out as he usually does, he has chores 5 days a week. They range from taking out the recycling, to making his lunch to watering the plants. He gets 4 quarters and then brings one of them to church on Sunday for the offering. The remainder goes in his piggy bank which will go to the bank. I know it's such a minimal amount, and really he would do it for free, but it's more the idea of it that I want him to understand.

I have to say that one of the greatest gifts my mom gave me was the gift of being wise with money. I think it is part of our role as parents to teach our kids, from a young age, how to be responsible with our/their finances. If you don't have enough money for something, don't buy it. This is to the point that we have saved for everything that we have and pay for it outright (except for our home). Always have money set aside for an emergency (in our case, our never ending money pit; the van). And, just because you can afford something, doesn't mean you need to buy it. Save.

The kids go grocery shopping with me every week and know how to look for sales, they know where to get the best deals (McGavins bread basket discount bakery, Two EE's for fruits and veggies etc). They know they are not getting any cereal unless it's on sale, they know that buying stuff second hand is a great option. The kids know that we don't eat out often because it ends up costing so much more. We spend about $10-$20/day on food and drinks and we eat well. Really well. If we go out to eat, maybe once every 2 months as a family, there are coupons/specials involved.

We always worked from a young age. It started with babysitting (every weekend) and then when we were 15, we had to get a job. Half the money we made went into the bank for university, the rest we could keep in our wallets (some for church). My parents did not allow us to buy a vehicle but we could borrow theirs. We would have to pay for insurance and gas during the summer months when we drove their vehicles to get to and from work but it did work out well.

I think things will be a bit trickier raising kids in this generation because there is just so much more `stuff' that they could spend money on, mainly technology. Gary and I are very uncool in that we do each have a cell phone but it's the old flip phone kind and we don't text. We don't have an iPod or iPad. We do have nice cameras, but that is work related:) Our decision to have internet access only at home is a financial one but also a way that we can fully devote our attention to our family when we are out. The other day I saw a dad and daughter having sushi and he was texting the whole time. She tried over and over to converse with him and he would just mutter something here and there. In the 20-30 minutes we were there, he didn't look away from it once. Way to make your kids feel important/valued. Same at swimming/skating lessons. Maybe it gets boring if you've been through it a million times, but seriously, pay attention to what your kids are doing and stop texting. If Gary came to my football game and spent the whole time texting I would be sooooooo mad.

Okay, I did not mean to turn this into a long speech but it's just something that drives me crazy:) I know I may sound cheap or obsessed with money but it allows us to never stress about it. I am so thankful for all we have and recognize that there are many reasons why people are in tough financial situations that are out of their control (loss of a job, illnesses/health care, fertility and adoption etc). We live in a crazy expensive area of the world which means we need to be even smarter with our finances. The end. For now.

Have a great week!

Love, Louise

April Fools and Feeling Like a Whale

Hey team, thanks for all the love and encouragement for teaching a photography course! I am trying to figure out if I want to do one before the baby or if it's wiser to wait. Family first:) We have three weddings and then I also have 3 family sessions before babe is here and I think that might be my limit! As for our name, GC Photography it will remain. Easy!

I'm having a hard time blogging about our life right now because my friend Tessa suddenly and tragically lost her little brother this week. I know life goes on for everyone else but I just feel so bad for her and her family. Tessa and Simon have already experienced so much loss in their life....so sad.

Nothing much new here for our family. The boys were excited that today was `April Fools Day'. They were trying to figure out what that really meant. They thought they were funny when they sat in each other's chairs for breakfast this morning. Then Kai repeated everything we said. Then they tried to come up with pranks, especially since we would be seeing Opi (my dad) later on. Koen thought that spitting at him would be a great trick, that was a good conversation to have before we actually saw my dad. They decided on putting soy sauce in his coffee (which was a better idea than Koen's idea of putting a banana or pizza in his coffee). They thought they were hilarious when he drank it.

I had my midwife appointment on Friday. I'm huge. I gained way too much weight this month. An abnormal amount that concerns me. I'm assuming it's thyroid related as I'm exhausted as well. I will go for a blood test this week. I haven't changed my diet or exercise so it's strange that I would gain 12lbs in one month. Yes, 12lbs. Should be more like 4-5lbs. Yikes. Not healthy. I feel like a whale. I was feeling beautifully round and pregnant up until a few weeks ago. Now I just feel very, very large all over. Not looking for any reassurance or encouragement here, just letting you know how I feel:)

This is where things get a bit less fun...the swollen ankles and fingers, peeing your pants, heart burn, clothes that are too tight, non stop Braxton Hicks like never before, constipation, you know...fun times. I still do feel much better than I did with the boys and I think it has to do with not being on my feet teaching. Babe is now head down which makes me feel like my stomach is the size of a golf ball and I can't get much food in there.

I'm just waiting to get my maternity pictures and then I'll print them and finish up the baby room. Looking forward to having that done:) Likely babe will be born around 39 weeks which means I'm just 7 weeks away. Wowsers. Hopefully babe doesn't surprise us and come out a boy because we do not have a boy name. Girl name is good to go.

I hope you had a good weekend.

Love, Louise

PS Three year olds are hilarious. On Friday, I took Koen to the park and he wished every single kid there a `Happy Chinese New Year!'. Silly goose.

Name Change and Teaching

Hey team! So, Gary and I have our business licence coming up for renewal in a month and we are changing from a proprietorship to a partnership. Yes, Gary has been the sole owner of GC Photography since the beginning even though I now do about 80% of the work:) It makes sense to change to a partnership but we are thinking of changing our name as well. It can be hard having a business with two people but I know I would never do a wedding without Gary! Besides, he's my expert camera/lens cleaner/ maintenance guy and IT expert! I do want something tied to our name but maybe it doesn't even make sense to change it. You know, all new business cards, domain names etc. Could be a pain. Thoughts? Does it even matter? We aren't looking to expand our business, just keep it nice and small. Kinda weird in a world where everyone wants to grow, grow, grow!

Secondly, it seems like every single person I talk to daily (when they find out I'm a photographer) mentions that they have a nice camera and would like to learn how to use it properly. I would LOVE for people to know how to use their cameras to their full potential. I'm thinking of offering mini courses (you know, like 2 hours) where you learn the basics of how to use your camera (focusing on shutter speed, ISO, aperture and exposure) and then practice in an indoor and outdoor setting might be a fun idea. I would offer the first one at a discounted rate to get feedback. I'm not claiming to be an expert but I do feel like I have some good info to offer! Besides, I'm a decent teacher and I miss it:)

Anyway, those are my thoughts of the day. Would love feedback!

Love, Louise

Maternity Photos!

You can check out our maternity session that we had in Victoria here. I'm so glad we did it as Megan and Steve always do a great job and we haven't done maternity photos before. It's a bit scary being on the other side of the camera but it's always worth it! Please leave them a comment as we photographers like that sort of thing:)

PS So glad we did it in Victoria, it's so beautiful there!

SUNSHINE

Gary and I had a wedding to photograph today. If you are not from the Lower Mainland, today we had the nicest day weather wise we've had all year. It was fantastic. Gary wore sunscreen. I sweat a little. Oh sunshine, I love you. We only photographed the ceremony, family photos and the formal portraits (maybe 3.5 hours total) and I was exhausted. Wow. We have three more full weddings to go before babe arrives and it should be interesting to see how my body does. My feet and hands are starting to swell and I am very short of breath. However, I do feel so, so good!

{On our way to the wedding, we stopped by Fort Langley to check out this wall that we've always wanted to use for photos. We didn't use it for the wedding today because it was in full sun by the afternoon but I do love it! Also, just want to point out my new chalkboard pen. If you are looking for one, it's from Opus. Just $4 and it wipes off with water.}

People are now asking me all the time when I'm due as though I'm about to give birth. They are shocked to hear that it's not til the end of May. Yes, I am big. Yes, I get really big with each baby. I have to say that whenever I see someone running, I wish I could run. I haven't really enjoyed running since before Koen was born but it was something I used to love. I'm pretty sure I will get back into it again once babe is about 6 weeks and I'm `allowed'.

For some reason, I'm sort of grieving that this is my last pregnancy. It's gone so well. It's such an amazing process. I'm so thankful that I have been able to go through it. I know that having another child (via adoption) is a possibility so that is still exciting but the likelihood is very low based on my husband's lack of desire for 4 kids (understandably!) and the long, long journey to adopt. I am appreciating every minute of this and am not ready to meet this babe yet. It's coming up fast! Compared to her brothers, she does not move much at all (which of course freaks me out at times). She is most active from about 6-8pm but that's about it.

{Kai learning about measuring in cm. He LOVES his math book. We spent 2 hours yesterday learning about money and measurement. I love that he loves it:)}

Because we had a wedding today, Grandma and grandpa took the boys overnight last night!! Yay!! Gary and I went and saw `The Hunger Games' which I have been eagerly waiting for. I really liked the books (like 8.5/10) so I could not wait. The movie was good but the movie is never as good as the book:( So, I say it was about 7/10 and Gary just gave it a 6/10. It just didn't feel as intense as the book, you know? Still, so good to go see it. We then went for sushi afterwards. Yum.

Finally, don't get me wrong. I love family time but wow, we have had a LOT of family time over the past two weeks. I think I'm ready for Gary to go back to work and for Kai to go back to school. I feel like I just need some `Louise time' but not sure what that looks like. Maybe aquafit on Monday.

Oh ya, I didn't tell you about our kitchen. We officially signed a contract for new cabinet doors/sides etc. Not all new cabinets, just refacing them. They will be `chocolate pear' and very nice, and you know, a few thousand more than we anticipated. Yikes! It's the last thing we wanted to do in our house so then we will be done and I will love it.

And to all you 200 people that read this blog daily (or at least click on it to see the blog links on the side), you can comment you know:) It's so crazy the random people that tell me that they read this blog. I don't think this stuff is very interesting but thanks for caring about our lives:)

Have a wonderful rest of the weekend!

Love, Louise