Chapman Christmas Part 1

We had a Christmas dinner with Gary's family last night. It was part 1 as one of his brothers (along with wife and 4 kids) will not be around here on Christmas day. Kai loves hanging out with his cousins and its so nice that he is at an age where I don't have to watch him (as much):)

The kids table

Kai and Kieryn. She is the closest Chapman cousin although she is about 3 years older than him.

All the Chapman kids. I think Kai looks most like Jayden, the boy right in front of him

Kai being goofy with the boys.

Kai got a gun from under the gramma tree. Every time they visit they get to pick up a present from under the gramma tree.

His cousins gave him two magnets and he said `This is all I need!'.

On the way home, he talked about how fun it was wrestling with his cousins (his first time REALLY participating) and said at the end, `What a lovely day'.

Too young for this much fun...

(He's thinking `Why won't mommy let me eat all the candy?')

I don't think you are supposed to decorate gingerbread houses with 2 year olds. Way too stressful for me. Candy all over the ground and all in Kai's belly. Maybe my hormones have made me less patient? I'm not sure. We quit half way. What am I supposed to do with him all day? We cannot go outside. Gary has the van. I cannot sit/lay on the ground to play with him. I feel like I gained another 10lbs overnight. I feel like I'm getting a cold. I accidentally ate almonds last night (I'm allergic to them...all night my ears and throat were soooooo itchy). Am I grumpy? Hmmm...sounds like it!

Twinkle, Twinkle Christmas Star

Today Kai participated in his first Christmas program! I had no idea how he would do. The song they had to learn was tough (big words, no rhyming, not anything we'd heard before). Kai tried to make it a little more `fun' by always finishing it off with `In a manger filled with FLOWERS!' (instead of hay). Anyway, today was the big day. His teachers led the 2.5- 3 year olds to the front of the church. Kai is def. the youngest in the class and one of the smallest. They stood on the risers. They waved their stars and sang their song. Kai danced during the singing and then yelled out the last line louder than anyone WITH the right words. Phew. He was adorable. I wish we videotaped it but I didn't want to be the crazy family with the digital camera and the videocamera. Next time, I don't care. We'll do it!

(Kai's dancing...he only sang the last line)

(eagerly anticipating the last line..ready to yell it out!)

Last night we started making our gingerbread house although somehow this morning, our door had been eaten (Kai). Kai was soooo pumped that it snowed last night. He got to throw 2 snowballs at daddy which we had been anticipating for a whole month now. This afternoon we have the Chapman Christmas dinner...should be good times! The snow makes it seem more Christmas-ish.

Yesterday, Kai and I were able to go to one of Gary's bball games. Kai made it through a whole game! Kind of. He loves half time where he can go wild and throw the ball around. He hasn't seen Gary much this week so last night he said he wanted us all on the couch. Then, he just jumped up and down on the couch saying `We're all togever! We're all togever!'. Poor lil guy, we should be togever all the time...

(he tried cuddling in front of me but there was no room...its totally comfy if he just lays on my hip instead)

Let it snow!!!

1. Made Mullagatawny soup for dinner last night. Very good. This isn't the exact recipe but would work just as well. We put rice in our soup. I think next time I will add potatoes to it too. Two of my favourite things; soup and curry. Don't know why I've never had it before!
2. Kai said to Gary last night, `Daddy, can you teach me how to dribble?'. Wow, daddy's dream come true:)
3. I keep scraping my belly by walking into table and counter corners and it is very painful. My belly bleeds so easily because it is so tight. Ouch.
4. It's going to snow today! Woohoo!

35.5 weeks

I know I have a lot of pregnancy updates but when I look back to the info I have on my pregnancy with Kai, it is quite minimal. I met with my surgeon today and she is able to do it! She is doing 3 C-sections in the morning and then heading to St. Marten in the evening so the post care will be done by her fill in. I'm currently measuring at 38 weeks....that's 2.5 weeks larger than I should be! That is insane to me. I'm getting new stretch marks every day that I'm really just trying to accept but I'm nervous about what it will look like on a deflated belly. Dr. said originally that she would like me to try labour if it happens before Jan. 2, but today she said that she would not `make' me try anymore. However, I will def. try if I go into labour early. I am curious how this labour would be different. I am thankful that I do not have to go to my due date as each laugh or sneeze seriously causes little blood vessels to burst on my expanding belly. I have two shirts that currently fit. So tempted to buy another one but I just have to last 22 more sleeps:) By the way, last night I slept from 11:30pm til 6am!!! Woohoo! I feel so alive. Oh ya, baby's heart rate was 155bpm..pretty high for this time in the pregnancy if you ask me!

This picture needs a flash but I like it anyway. Kai thought he was pretty cool. He has these purple circles under his eyes...not sure why. He's hydrated and well rested. Allergies? Last night we pigged out on red peppers and carrot sticks. He was so pumped about it. It's so funny to me:) I've tried explaining to him that I will be in the hospital with an owie when the baby is born so he will be at grammas. He is very excited to go to gramma's house (she has TONS of toys and TONS of food that I do not feed him). He said he would bring me a Diego bandaid to make me feel better:) Kai's latest contribution to the baby name is `Hamilton'. He thinks its hilarious.

Kai was an angel at going to bed. Now, it takes a little more work to get him to his nap (he wants to brush his teeth first...fine with me!) and at night, he has started crying when going to bed. He only cries for about 30 seconds but still, such a change! We had an incident last night. He was rocking my huge basket of folded laundry and I asked him to stop. He did not. He had made a mess of all his clothes the day before by taking them ALL out of the drawers and throwing them in the closet causing me to spend half an hour refolding. I yelled at him to stop. He did not. I went over to him and slapped the hand that was rocking it. He looked at me with the greatest sadness and fear and burst into tears. I felt so bad. I will NOT do that again. I was spanked growing up which was fine for me but I'm really trying to teach Kai to be gentle and that was not a good example. I explained that I was angry that he didn't listen but that I was sorry for hitting his hand. We had a big hug. Wow, I felt bad.

***

Gary will be home by 4:30 today and will stay until Kai is in bed. I am so excited!!!! Yesterday, I dropped Kai off at school so Gary could watch him for an hour and I could go to the pub for a friends birthday. Kai had SO much fun. He helped Gary get the water bottles ready and he played with basketballs and volleyballs. When I picked him up, he was sitting in a desk with the rest of the bball team in a team meeting. He said `Bye boys!' when we left. He loves hanging out with daddy and loves basketball.

OH YA: BIG WOOHOO FOR LOW GAS PRICES AND LOW INTEREST RATES ON OUR LINE OF CREDIT!!! WOOHOO!!!! Although, I did see that property taxes in Surrey were going up again:(

Dec. 10th

Today would be my mom's 56th bday. I got an email from a friend the other day reminding me how lucky/blessed I am to have had the mother that I did and the relationship with her that I did. How true this is. I have said many times that I am so thankful for the foundation that my mother laid and the relationship that we had. It was amazing. My mom did not have any sisters growing up so I think she loved having 5 daughters to talk with:)
I have no pictures from the past couple days so I will just post the two scrapbook pages I made yesterday. They actually only take about 15 minutes each (now that I know photoshop a little more) so it's a fast and easy way to do it! I'm not very artsy/creative so this is as good as it gets:) I will admit that I've been fiddling with making various birth announcements so that all we have to do is insert some pictures and the correct weight etc. when the baby is born. I'm excited to get studio baby pictures of this baby as we never got to with Kai.

This morning Kai and I got out of bed around 8am. Technically he had been up since 7am or so but he just talks and plays with Bubi in his bed until I get him. I feel guilty not getting him right away but he's not complaining so I'll do it while I can! I seem to be up from 4-5:30am each night. Guess its good practice:) Last night I was munching on Stone Wheat Crackers at 4:30am in bed...if Gary did that, I would've been sooooo mad!!!! The baby is moving less at night now which is nice but also a little worrisome at times because I will try to get it to move just to make sure everything is okay and it def. takes a lot longer! Tomorrow I meet with my surgeon lady to go over the details and I better think through if I have any questions. Oh ya, my appetite. Huge. Somehow I've started eating a lot more. There is no room in my belly. The stretch marks are expanding and getting redder:( Last time I was just very swollen everywhere due to the heat. This time, no swelling at all so far and my wedding rings still fit perfectly fine!
***
Kai wanted waffles this morning so I made some. We need to buy some whole wheat flour so I can make a healthier kind but this is the one I made this morning. Kai had 3 whole waffles and would've kept going but I cut him off. What a piglet. Then we went to Mark's Work Wearhouse to get free socks for Gary. They had a coupon on the flyers with no catch (go get them while supplies last...its in Langley!). Not bad, not bad! Then Kai and I walked around Costco for a bit (had to pick up pictures) and we picked up some hiking boots for auntie Trisha.
***
I did too much cleaning and laundry today but I can't stand a messy house. I'll have to work on my mindset a bit. I miss work a bit but I mentally and physically can't do it. How did I ever have time to take care of the house and work? I guess when you're not pregnant you have more energy?
***
We have our first babysitter ever coming this week. Well, Kai has been to 2 different daycares and has had every single family member babysit him so he has had many babysitters. However, we are actually paying someone we don't know to watch him. She was recommended by a friend from work so we will see how it goes! She lives just 2 blocks away which is a HUGE bonus.
***
I'm sure I'll post after the doctor visit tomorrow...

Down Time

I have to say that the decision on when to stop working was a big one for me. I've always been very driven and its hard for me to sit back and relax. I am getting way better. If I had been able to work just 2 weeks more, I probably could've gotten paid over the Christmas break and started mat leave in Janaury which would be a whole extra month of pay altogether. However, I am learning that my mental state is more important to me than money so I am taking these next 24 days to prepare and relax. If anyone has any tips of what I should be doing to prepare for my second baby, let me know! I think I've got everything ready and I've just got to make and freeze a bunch of meals.

(Gary and Kai picked up some flowers for me)

Gary and I had a huge discussion on Saturday night about basketball. Gary is number one on my support list so the fact that the next 3 months are his busiest is a bit stressful. I'm totally fine with him having bball now, but once a newborn comes into the picture.....He coaches senior basketball and does not have an assistant. Last week, he had an additional 12 hours of coaching on top of teaching which adds up. This does not include driving to and from games, washing uniforms, ordering uniforms, corresponding with coaches etc. Last year when he finished bball, I made it clear that he needed to find an assistant for this season. He did try. It's really hard to find people who can coach basketball. So, after discussing this for 30 minutes and getting nowhere, we tried to find a solution that included changing practice times to morning practices, figuring out that Gary could make meals on Sundays etc. Well, last night we got an email from one of Gary's old players who played at TWU for 4 years and he said he'll probably be able to be the assistant coach. Wow. Answer to prayer!!! Woohoo! I know this is not set in stone yet so I'm not getting too excited but I'm really thankful that Gary will have support now too!

(What Kai and I will be doing for fun on Saturday)

35 weeks. Still feeling okay. My back is still fine! Heartburn, not bad! Leg cramps, none! The only hard part is at night. If i need to get up to go to the bathroom, it takes me about 5 minutes to move less than 10 feet. My pelvis/hips get soooooo sore throughout the night. I've been starting to sleep in a sitting position to help that but its not the easiest sleeping position. My belly sticks out more this time which has given me more stretch marks. I'm trying not to be vain but I'm also thinking about what this will look like afterwards.....Everywhere I go, I think about what my plan of action is if my water breaks at that exact location. I never thought about it last time.

By the way, how do I think my life will change once I am the mommy of two? I know I will be exhausted. I know it will be harder to get dinner on the table. I know I will have less patience for Gary and Kai. My hope is that this baby will cry less (please, please, please!!!!) and that I will be able to maintain a routine. I hope that the baby will take a bottle so that I can pump and then go to football or wherever else I may want to go. I think that because I have already adapted to the role of being a mom, and I know what a newborn is like, the transition should be easier this time. WE will see!!!!

Marriage

Okay, so I recently finished `The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work' and I would recommend it. This may be a very boring post for some but I think it's important for me to summarize the book and point out what John Gottman believes to be the main principles. I'm not sure what is okay to say and not say in regards to our marriage but I will throw a bit of it throughout. The reason I wanted to read a good marriage book is because I found that when Kai came into the picture, our perfectly functioning marriage seemed to go through a rough patch. Lack of sleep along with our new roles were tough on both of us. Once I was sleeping through the night (maybe at 7 months?), things got MUCH better!



Principle 1: Enhance your love maps (being intimately familiar with each other's world)

-knowing each others favourites, and also beliefs, fears

-talking through how your family showed sadness, anger, affection etc. growing up

-making sure you have time to catch up on each others day every day (debrief)

*Gary and I are very good at debriefing. When Gary gets home we talk for about 15 minutes about what happened in each others day....he usually initiates. When we work together, we debrief on the drive home. We do know each other quite well as we really worked on a friendship first, before we got married. *



Principle 2: Nurture your Fondness and Admiration

-do you treat guests better than your spouse?

-letting your partner know what you admire and appreciate about them AND feeling it in return

-feeling supported by your spouse

-think about why you cherish your partner

*This is the one chapter I'm going to get Gary to read. I def. need words of affirmation although Gary does not (as much). Therefore I say things like `Hey Gary, doesn't the house look clean? Hey Gary, didn't I make a good dinner? Hey Gary, aren't I a fun mom?'. Somehow asking these things doesn't make his affirmation as strong as if he had just said it in the first place. I def. need to remember to focus more on Gary's strengths, especially when times are a bit more stressful because I think I treat guests better than him sometimes*



Principle 3: Turn towards each other instead of away

-do you enjoy spending free time together?

-do you enjoy discussing things together?

-are you spiritually compatible?

-do you like to do a lot of the same things?

*Gary and I do enjoy doing the day to day things together; grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, baking, watching tv etc. We both love the outdoors and playing outside. I think it is important that we don't do everything together but I love that we have more in common than I originally thought when we got married. I thought we were so different only because he grew up more conservatively than I did. That is not a huge difference. Also, he is a man. That will make him different:)*



Principle 4: Let your partner influence you

-sharing power and decision making

*I think Gary and I really respect each others point of views and are good at making decisions together (except for a baby girl name!!!). If I have a problem, I believe that Gary can help me work through it and I believe the same is true for him. I generally feel `heard' by him*



Principle 5: Solve your solvable problems (in laws, laundry, money, sex...)

-soften your `start up' (how you approach an issue). Discussions generally end on the same note that they begin.

-make and receive repair attempts (a way to deescalate the situation with humour or taking breaks)

-soothe yourself and each other

-compromise (accept influence)

-be tolerant of each others faults (get rid of the `if onlies' and accept your partners flaws)

*Gary and I never (okay, maybe 2X/year) raise our voices at each other and we throw a whole lotta `sweeties' into the conversation which helps a tense conversation. I think that we are very fortunate that we come from similar family backgrounds. Also, Gary is helpful with household chores and never argue about money as we are on the exact same page.*



Principle 6: Overcome gridlock

-generally because the dreams for your life aren't beind addressed or respected

-don't need to solve the problem but move towards dialogue

*I think we are very fortunate that we are both Christians, come from similar family backgrounds, and that we both knew, more or less, what we wanted in life before we got married. There is no major problem that we need to overcome that I know of. *



Principle 7: Create shared meaning

-create your own microculture with rituals and customs (family dinners together, church on Sundays, views on parenting etc).

*We both kind of carried on the customs that we grew up with. We've had no issues in parenting (so far!!) because both of us came from families that were all over the discipline, positive reinforcement, routine and schedules.*



Okay, so this is probably very boring to read but I'm interested in reading it in a couple months from now and seeing where Gary and i are at and whether we still seem to be on the same page with everything. Besides, a summary will allow Gary to get the gist of this book:) So ya, if you are looking for a book on marriage, I give it an 8/10. So nervous for our marriage in the first 6 months of baby Chapman's life. Praying it goes better this time!!!!

Kai's new duds

(In his new `Gary' shirt)

Yesterday morning, before Gary went to bball (where they finished 2nd in the tourney), I went to a Kids Swap Meet. Haven't been in forever but I was thinking I could maybe buy Kai some `new' boots, shoes, and maybe some games. I love that he can now play games, it makes our play time a whole lot more fun! By games, I mean mostly matching letters/pictures, copying words etc.

I found a great table where the husband was trying to get rid of all his boy stuff because he wanted to park his car in the garage again. Every item was $1 and I probably got about $50 worth for $5:) I also found the next size shoe for Kai and a pair of rain boots for $2 each.

Okay, the shirt might be a bit too big but he'll grow into it:) Here is he is with his new Dora game. Right now we just practice taking turns to put the letters in order but one day we'll be able to turn the letters over and learn what apple starts with etc.

Me: Hey Kai, can you share your jelly beans with me?

Kai: I can't mommy. They're too chewy for girls.

Well, time to head to church!

26 more sleeps!!