Monday, May 01, 2017

Mixed Feelings on Mother's Day

When I was a kid, Mother's Day was exciting because we would make a card, hide it under our pillow, and deliver it to my mom with breakfast in bed – toast with jam, every year! One year I remember making a muffin at school and hiding it with great anticipation that she would just love it. It was simple, happy, and just easy.

Mother's Day Card

Now there are so many feeling associated with the day. My own mom passed away 11 years ago which means I can't tell her how much I love and appreciate her. I never knew her as a mom myself so now I can see what she actually went through raising five kids of her own! I would say thank you for giving me space yet always being available, trusting me, providing so many adventures, always having a warm home-made meal on the table to be enjoyed as a family, driving me to one practice or another, and for making me feel like the most beautiful and smart daughter in the world – capable of doing anything.

Bouquet of flowers

Another tricky feeling to navigate is that we are taking care of another mama's children as a foster family. My heart breaks for their situation and I wish that they could have a celebratory day together. For now we will make a card for their mama with some beautiful photos I took of them and hope that they are okay celebrating me, their "auntie", too. Although our home is wildly chaotic and exhausting, there is a lot of laughter and love, too. After our first Little One left, I never imagined loving other children the same way but the hugs and "I love you's" and proud auntie moments are here.

Five kids sitting on the couch
The five kids don't normally sit all together
And finally, I feel incredibly grateful for the three children born to me. They have each taught me so much. In my oldest, I see a lot of myself; hard-working, independent, friendly and a lover of learning. I know how it feels to be the oldest and have many responsibilities. I need to be careful how much I ask him to do. Our middle son has taught me that some people need more preparation for activities and different tools to relax. He has provided so much laughter over the years with the questions he asks and the way he sees life. He has taught me to be brave even when you feel unsure and nervous; what is the worst thing that could happen? Nya, my Sunshine, brings such joy, happiness and encouragement–such a light in our lives. This whole mix is just what I needed.

Expectations can be problematic – especially for a planner like me! I have learned to voice what is important to me a few days prior (it's homemade cards with something thoughtful written inside) and then just let whatever else happens be icing on the cake.

I hope that however you spend your Mother's Day, and whatever layers make up your situation, that you enjoy the day. And finally, if you are looking for some Mother's Day tips, I recommend these ones.

Happy Mother's Day.


Mother's Day has many layers to it; from our own relationships with our mother's to that of our kids, both biological and foster.

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