Saturday, May 02, 2015

One Secret to a Happy Marriage

Recently I was reading `Biblical Secrets to a Happy Marriage' and one thing that stuck out to me was the importance of the gift of time.  It doesn't have to be a formal date, or deep discussions over dinner, it could just be driving together or sitting in the same room. Geographical closeness.



Over the past year and a half, we have really been working on our marriage.  It used to be that when Gary came home from work, I'd go straight to the office to work on photo editing.  Now that I've reduced the amount of photography that we are doing, we have so many evenings together!


We only have one tv (okay--we have one in the basement but it's too cold down there!), so that is where we hang out.   Gary and I love 7:30 pm as the kids are all in bed and it's our time.  We usually clean up, do some work, exercise, and by 9:00 pm we're on the couch watching our favourite shows.  We watch on Netflix so that we can find something that we both like (we're currently watching Homeland.)


I used to think that just sitting together in the same room wasn't quality time but my opinion has changed on this.  When the kids were young I would want to "escape" a lot.  As soon as Gary came home from work or basketball practice, I just wanted to leave the house by myself.   "Me time" is helpful but I think it's really important to balance that with spending time together.  Sitting side-by-side on the couch is a great time for us to talk about our day and plans for the week.  Inevitably, you are going to connect more, physically and emotionally, if you are side by side on that couch!



What do you think about `the gift of time'?  How do you spend time together?

Love,
Louise

PS I'd love to have you join me and the discussions over on Facebook and Instagram!

10 comments:

  1. Our evenings together are finally a bit longer now that Alf is home from work earlier. But still hoping for more evenings together - they have been filled so much with stuff like making lunches, washing dishes, meal planning, etc. It's been weirdly busy with those things and I am feeling kind of behind on everything so I'm hoping for a better week! But I also love sitting beside each other and watching a show together. I actually find we will share our most information about this and that, in the mornings as we are reading our Bibles. Stuff comes to mind and we're sitting there for 30-45 minutes so we tend to mention a bunch of things then. Not discussions, just information sharing, if that makes sense. And we love our at-home dates!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad to hear that the new job is helping out in so many ways. You two read your Bibles in the morning for 30 minutes? That's so awesome and such a great example to your kids. Gary and I are a giant mess in the morning of go, go goooooo!

      Delete
    2. At least 30 minutes, if not more...but we do it before the kids get up so there is less distraction. Well, we finish when they get up, so they do see it (which is important that they see the value of it being practiced). But the advantage for us is that Alf doesn't leave for work until 7:30 now and the kids and I don't have to leave until 8:45, which is way later than Gary and Kai, right? ;)

      Delete
    3. Ah yes, Gary and Kai (and 1/2 time Koen) leave by 7:30 am each morning. Still, that is very admirable. I need more dedication in this area.

      Delete
  2. Great post! We will be celebrating our 9th anniversary and your post has definitely given me things to think about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy 9th anniversary, Salma! It's in May I'm assuming? I think there are a lot of May wedding anniversaries!

      Delete
  3. I love this post! I think it is vital to put effort and energy into your relationship. It is so easy to get sucked into the time warp of daily life and not put time into a marriage. I am definitely into formal official date nights but now with a newborn in the ranks, I'm happy to hang out and watch Game of Thrones with my hubby :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone is talking about Game of Thrones! I'll have to check it out :) Yes, a newborn definitely shifts everything for a bit!

      Delete
  4. Quality time is my love language so I totally get this! Even if we are working on different things, I just want to be in the same room. We like a lot of the same TV shows and we both love walking. We do not play games together. It never ends well :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, we don't play games together often either. Usually if there is a power outage or we're camping :) I miss the walks on our own as it's always family walks now. Although, Kai can probably babysit in a few more years! I'm glad you know your love language!

      Delete