Saturday, March 05, 2011

Ups and Downs

I'm feeling sorry for myself these days. No particular reason and this is just a really strange feeling for me. I haven't felt this way in about 10 years. I know how incredibly blessed I am and I'm tired of feeling unsatisfied. I don't need you to list all the ways I am blessed and how much I have to be thankful for. I know.

I know that part of it has to do with the fact that the weather sucks and we've been indoors forever (with never ending sick kids). I know part of it has to do with the fact that my uncle is currently undergoing chemo. Seriously, can cancer just disappear? I know part of it has to do with the fact that all I can do is pray for our baby and that's it (by the way, I really feel like it will happen by Oct. 12, although I don't know if it's 2011 or 2012:). We have our baby girl name (our second choice for a girl was Zoe, I really like it, Gary doesn't love it) and for our boy names, we have three names we love that all start with `C'. And this seems petty, but I just don't get a break anymore because Koen stopped napping at the age of two. That includes no quiet time. I tried to contain him in his old crib and he jumped out head first. Twice. I feel grumpy with the kids and Kai announced this week that daddy was a lot more fun. Ouch. And finally, I was really hoping to go on a sunny romantic getaway with Gary over spring break but the reality is that we don't have anyone to watch the kids for a week. Understandable, just a bit sad. We have the time and money, but I guess we just need to wait 10 years or so. We could go with the kids but that is twice the price and only 10% the romance:)

So yes, life is incredibly good and I don't know what my problem is. I'll blame it on hormones and the weather:)

On the upside...
1. Today I had football practice and I could participate 100%, no problem. I didn't even take any meds today. I am so incredibly thankful for my health.
2. We went with good friends of ours, the Rehmans, to the zoo today. We had such a great time together.
3. Photography is so great. I love it. I don't know what I would do without it. I love learning and with this, it's non stop.
(We bought a new vinyl backdrop from B&H. No more paper ripping and having to replace it! It currently smells like vinyl but I'm excited for it's long term usage!)

4. We are going on three trips for our two week spring break!

a. Tofino with the kiddos, staying in a hotel. Kai is desperate to see something to do with Emily Carr but we aren't going through Victoria. I wonder if there is anything Emily Carr-ish in Tofino?

b. Green lake with the kiddos and my sister Maria and her family

c. Seattle with just Gary. We have childcare for two nights. We got a great hotel on right in the Pike Place Market area. We're excited to eat good food so if you have any recommendations, let me know!

I know this is random. Just where I'm at. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend.
Love, Louise


  1. don't be too hard on yourself, I feel like that sometimes too. This time of year is tough because Spring/Summer is so close, yet so far away! Sorry to hear about your Uncle. Cancer sucks.
    Yay for a new backdrop and Spring Break trips!

  2. sending you a blog hug! And really, with all the things you listed, I think you have fair reason to feel the way you yourself some grace! If Maya stopped napping I would have to commit myself...she skipped one nap last wake and it terrified me! EXCITED that you guys get to do seattle at least...enjoy!!!

  3. so appreciate your honesty in this post! and you know, we all go through times of feeling sorry for ourselves. personally, i think it's ok! you'll get through it :)
    love the vinyl!!
    glad you get to go to seattle - keep your sights set on that romantic, warm vacation. sorry it doesn't work to go now :(

  4. I totally think it is this time of year too. I don't know about in BC, but here it is still strangely cold for this time of year, and the cabin fever we have is making me crazy.

    Cancer in itself is enough to make a person depressed. Cancer, no naps, bad weather, no weekend away... Id say thats valid reason right there.

    The sun will shine soon! Right?

  5. Go to Lola's in seattle! Their breakfasts are AMAZING, and there sugar donuts are a MUST!
    Sorry your in a cloud, Im confident in saying that all mummas go through these types of feelings at one point or another.

  6. How you're feeling sounds totally reasonable to me. And Koen not napping is SO not petty! I feel crushed when Ella doesn't nap. Seriously, like my world is ending. I'm stoked you feel you'll get the call by October, regardless of the year b/c that would mean it WILL happen! Yay! And so glad you have some fun trips coming up.

  7. I have had to adjust to one not napping, so I can't imagine two! Finn told me this week that I'm not cool, Daddy is. Then today he told Mike that I'm old. There's the love..

  8. Three trips sound exciting. This probably isn't romantic but you can do what I like to call Gluttony Row by Pike Place. Lobster Bisque from Pike Place Chowder, fresh cheese from place across the street (cant miss it because they make the cheese in huge vats in front of you), croissant from French bakery (or any other delictable from there) near the first Starbucks ever and top it all with a piroshki from Piroshsky Piroshki. Bon appetit.