Thankful Thursday

This week's version of Thankful Thursday includes a video that Gary and the kids made for me last night.  Apparently I never leave the house to give them time to do it. Oops!  It's cute. I promise.  Okay, maybe just to me.  If you're wondering what Koen is saying he's thankful for at first, it's that I get the treat bag down for him (they have their Easter treats on top of the fridge and he can't reach). There is a little `I love you' from Nya at the end.

Thankful for:

1. Celebrating my dad's 60th birthday.  Each and every year is a gift!  The kids each told him what they were thankful for and the boys both appreciated Opi taking them out for coffee (hot chocolate) and the silly tricks he plays on them.  I think all kids LOVE experiences, right?  

2.  Gary bringing me a piece of chocolate cake from the ferry.  He came home late last Friday and I was soooo tired.  We had this cake on our honeymoon (going to the Kingfisher in Courtenay) and so it's kind of special :)

3. Swimming Lessons.  We  put our kids in very few activities as I'm valuing this time together as a family before they grow up and are super busy.  We do have the boys in swimming lessons right now and they love it.  Koey is a Salmon and Kai is in Swim Kids 2.  Koey will likely be learning the lesson that as long as he tries his hardest, that is all that matters :)

4.  Birthday fun for Koen and Nya.  They don't go to many parties at their age so they had a lot of fun celebrating a sweet little friend.

5. Dora. I don't like saying that.   I just love that if I need a break, she will watch a whole episode. Thankful for PVR and Dora.   

6. Continous growth in marriage.  It's amazing how much we can still learn about each other over the years.  In this picture I was trying to thank everyone for coming but was so overwhelmed I couldn't even speak.  And yes, I probably should have had someone do my hair and make up.  I was just back from Kenya and all about being super simple.  I would just say that if you feel your marriage is in a tough spot, I PROMISE you that it can get better.  It takes work though, and even if your partner isn't wanting to invest much effort, you can start the change.

7. A yard that is used.  It's so small, but really, it has so much for the kids to do.  Kai plays hockey in the alley but other than that, they use the trampoline, slide and water table all the time (I removed the sand, Kim! Way better!).

8. Subbing once a week.  It's the perfect amount for me.  It's so nice to be able to bring the kids to a daycare that they love and I can work and make some money.  Thomas is now one of Koey's good friends.

9. Having my parenting partner back. Phew. Awesome. Exhale.  He is a wonderful father and teammate.

10. Flowers.  It's getting pretty around here!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

We will be celebrating Nya's birthday, can't wait!

Love, Louise

He's a Cinnabon, Not a Bran Muffin.

Over the past month, I've been sharing what I've been learning in a marriage study I'm doing (it's a book about what men really think by Shanti Feldhahn).  You can find the first three parts here; respect, insecurity, and the need to provide.  This week in our marriage study, we learned about what our husbands think about sex.   I have to keep this PG-13 (my father and inlaws read this but hopefully won't read this one!!) but I do think it is very important to talk about.  I've resisted posting this one because even though I'm totally fine talking about sex in general, I just don't want to talk about it in regards to Gary and I as it's a private and  personal issue.  So, it's a tricky balance.  Here we go.

I've always heard how important it is for there to be enough sex in marriage.  I won't say anything specific about our sex life (you can breathe, sisters), but we've always made sure to try to have `enough' sex.   However,  the important thing about sex for men, is that he wants to feel desired by his wife.  97% said that enough sex wasn't enough, they wanted to feel wanted.

Often what we say/do in response to their desire for sex is different than what they hear/see. For example, saying that you'd like a glass of wine before bed may be taken as `You need to have a glass of wine so that you find me attractive enough' whereas it probably means, `One glass of wine will help me relax and not think about all the millions of ridiculous details (library day, dentist, laundry, birthdays, cleaning, etc) going on in my mind.'.

Another thing to keep in mind is that although it's great to initiate sex, it's probably better to do it in a way that doesn't sound like, `Hey, so, I could do it tonight if you want to'.  It sounds like duty sex.  I am going to get personal for a second here.   I think we are at a difficult stage because my body has grown three children, breastfed them, and still has one attached to me most of the time as she loves to be held.  I often feel like I don't get a break to have my body to myself.  It is getting better as the kids get older but it can definitely be hard for a partner.   The other part about growing three kids and breastfeeding them all is that my body is not something I feel very confident about.  I know that Gary doesn't care, but I do.  It's difficult to be all `Yahoo! Let's be wild!' when I'm thinking about the extra 15 lbs on me and a belly that looks 4 months pregnant permanently.  I think I just need to get used to this new body because I there's no way it's going back to the one I had 10 years ago.  {Side note:  I want my kids to be confident with the way that their bodies look and so I don't complain about it.  I realize that the way my body looks now is something I need to embrace, accept and appreciate.  I think it will just take some time.}.

I was watching `The Big Bang Theory' on Thursday and in it, Penny said a wise choice would be to marry Leonard.  He basically said, `So I'm a bran muffin?  What you should choose?  I want to be a Cinnabon, what you really want!'.  He was talking about it in regards to choosing him to be with, but I think that's what men feel in regards to their partner's desire for them sexually.  They want us to really want them, not just do it because it's the right thing to do.

So, let's let our husbands know that we think they're hot and that we love to have sex with them.  Right?!

Love, Louise

PS Someone please comment or I might be mortified. ASAP. Thanks.

Mother's Day 2014

Mother's Day is always a bit of a bittersweet day for me.  I've always felt that I never knew my mom when I was a mom so I could never truly thank her for all she had done for us.  Then, on Saturday, my dad gave me this card I had made for my mom when I was in grade 9.  I actually cried when I read it because it was such a relief to know that even though I was not the easiest teenager, I had let my mom know how much I appreciated her. Phew.

The kids gave me cute cards.   One of my favourite lines from another one of Kai's cards was `Your eyes are brown like stumps'.  First of all, my eyes are blue.  Secondly, I guess it's hard to come up with a simile for the colour brown?

Kai showed his appreciation by making me breakfast with Gary.  

Nya helped by mixing and adding salt.

Group hug/wrestle in Nya's room.  I got to sleep in until 8am.  I was soooo tired all weekend from the long week we had.

Snuggles with Nya on the couch.

Koen showed his appreciation by cleaning all four toilets while Gary cleaned the bathrooms.  

I spent some time reading alone in my bedroom and then in the afternoon, we did Nya's 2 year old pictures.  She was so cute.  The boys just ran around like crazy kids the whole time.

One of my favourites below.

Then, the kids chose where we would go for dinner.  Their choice? McDonalds.  We will definitely need to help them in the `What do you think MOMMY would like for dinner?' area next year.  Let me tell you, we were the only ones in the play area (and maybe only 5 people there besides us?!).  I picked up sushi on the  way home.

I hope you had a good Mother's Day yesterday.  I know  it can be a difficult time for some.  I personally am enjoying it more and more.  I love my children and am so thankful for them.  

Love, Louise

Thankful Thursday

Oh boy!  I barely made this in time.  I'm subbing twice this week, Nya got up at 3am FOR THE DAY on Wednesday and Gary is gone all week.  Then there's the regular stuff like preschool, school, swimming lessons, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping AND TAKING CARE OF MISS NYA.  So, it's a little busy.

Thankful for:

1.  A bottle collecting partner.  Please don't judge, but wow, I am semi addicted to collecting bottles.  I love going for a half hour bike ride almost every day and hitting up 4 prime locations.  Nya comes along shouting `Bottle! Bottle!' whether there are bottles or not.

2.  Learning new things about Gary.  I thought I knew almost everything but this week he pulled out his collection of money from around the world?!  What?!  I added my Tanzanian shillings to it.

3.  A business that has allowed me to stay home with the kids for the past 5 years.  GC Photography will probably not be continuing into 2015 because I need a change and I need my weekends back.  I probably have 5-7 weekends a year (winter usually) where there isn't a session or wedding so I definitely am looking forward to that freedom.  We will probably still do weddings for those that we know well, and the random session here or there, but...ya.  So thankful for it's success and how much I have learned and all the wonderful people I've met.  I just want to make sure that we end while loving it so that we can still take oodles of photos of our family :)  What will we be doing instead? Stay tuned!

4.  Picnics outside.

5.  This Princess pj top.  She wore it for 48 hours straight.  If I didn't let her wear it, she probably would've gone naked for those 48 hours.  I don't want a lot of Dora and princess clothing but if she had her way....

(PS she's practicing her back float)

6.  Kids seeing the beauty where we don't.  Lovely flower for you, mom?

7.  An awesome mother for 27 years.  Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

8.  Koen's Mother's Day card.  Some funny things were: My mom's name is Aunty Louise.  My mom is really good at laundry.  Her favourite drink is  beer.  (I actually like to drink wine).

(PS Koen has my sister Jantina's smile.  His mouth does not curve up at the corners!)

9. Sleep.  How can 25lbs of cuteness be sooooooooooooo much work?!!

10. Subbing.   It has worked so well.  They let me know days in advance and this week I subbed for my favourite teacher; Gary :)

I hope you are having a great week!  I should also let you know that this week's marriage topic was a `hot' one so you'll want to check back for that this weekend.  I learned something new (again), and just have to figure out how to write the post so that my mother-in-law won't have a heart attack if she reads it.

Love, Louise 

8 Years

Eight years ago, my mom passed away from breast cancer at the age of 53.  May 7th.  The day after my dad's birthday.  If you've ever seen someone get very sick from cancer, and watch them slowly die, it is terrible.  I remember asking my dad to tell her that it was okay to go.  I couldn't watch her like that anymore.  It was so, so painful.  You remember them that way for a long time.  I am thankful that I am far enough away from it now that what she went through at the very end is not always my first thought of her.   Reading the letter that she wrote us, she was `glad' that she was able to die slowly (over 1.5 years) to get to spend that special time with us.

{Still loving my tea time!}

I'm glad that over time I feel more at peace with it.  I'm glad that my joy has returned.  I'm thankful for all that I do have here on earth.  I'm thankful for the amazing mother that I had for 27 years of my life, who along with my dad, has given me a positive outlook on life.  I'm thankful that she was not afraid of dying.  I'm thankful that she fought hard and didn't complain `Why me?'.  I'm thankful that she was at peace knowing that we would be great mothers ourselves one day.  I wish she had known that dad would be okay.  She was worried about him.

{Checking out the deals and couponing!  I'm in grade 6 here.}

It still hurts though.  There are several times when it hurts the most.  One is when something joyful is happening.  A celebration.  I know she'd want to be there.  I want her there.  Family was her #1 priority and we knew it.

{Mom speaking at our wedding `Both give 100%'}

The other time it hurts is when I see how other grandparents are involved in helping with the grandkids.  I know not everyone has this but everytime I hear it, I feel a little stab. It doesn't mean that I'm not happy for the other person, but it's a reminder that my mother cannot come and help me out when I need it.  I have Gary's parents who are usually able to help if need be, but, it's different for me.  Also my parents house was right across the street from ours....I am looking out the window now at the trees that were in their backyard.

Her death changed my life forever.  It made me recognize first hand that anyone can get sick and die at any time.  Each day is a gift.  I will be so thankful if I get to live to be 60 years old and see my grandkids.  Sometimes I say to God, `Please, let me see my kids graduate high school', or `Please let me see them get married' or `Please let me know my grandkids'.  I know my genes are terrible.   I don't live my life in fear, I just know that it is likely that I will get cancer at some point.

It is so, so, soooo awesome growing up knowing that your parents are so proud of you and love you very much.  Sure, the cabbage patch kid was great, but the ever ready listening ear and the `Way to go, girl!' helped make me who I am. 

I miss you mom.  I wish you could be at Nya's 2nd birthday party, she's such a little monkey.  And she's so cute.  I think Kai is a mini me in personality and Koen is a mini Opa.  Gary is a great husband.  You would be so impressed with his cooking and he's also so great with the kids.  The amount of grandkids you have in 8 years is pretty wild.  Dad is doing so well with Joanne and fulfilling his dreams.   Thank you for all that you did for us.  I didn't realize how much it was until I had three little kids of my own.

Love, Louise

Happy 60th Dad

My dad turns 60 today.

He is who Koen gets his gift of gab from.

He is sensitive and I'm thankful that he understands my feelings.

He will give great advice when asked.

He doesn't let much stand in his way and will do whatever it takes to make his dreams come true.

He rode a jetski up to Alaska.  He got his pilots licence.  He bought a plane.  He flies wherever he wants to go.

He taught me how to give a firm handshake and look someone in the eye.

He taught me how to ask good questions.

He showed us the value in having fun and joking around.

He showed us what a great husband looks like.  He ensured we were respectful of our mom.  He always held her hand when they walked and gave her a kiss when he got home from work.  He listened to her and enjoyed just being with her.

He has worked hard to stay healthy.

Happy birthday dad!!  A lot has changed over the past 10 years and I'm so thankful for you.

Love, Louise

The Need to Provide

I've been sharing a bit on a marriage study that I'm doing at church.  You can see part 1 on Respect and part 2 on Insecurity.  Thank you to those that have let me know about how this has impacted you, I very much appreciate it.  This blog started as a way to document my kids childhood for them and has turned into a way to connect with other people as well.  Win win.

My husband Gary.  The Main Provider.

{Photo courtesy of Andrew Willms}

This week in our marriage study (`For Women Only' by Shaunti Feldhahn), we learned about the constant desire of a man to provide for his family.   I don't feel like this one really hit home for us as something that made me go `Oh yes! So true!' but there were a few good tidbits in there.

First of all, they did a study and asked how often the man thinks about their responsibility to provide for their family and 71% said that it was always or often on their mind.  Gary does not fit into the majority here as he doesn't think or worry about it (he really doesn't worry about anything though, I asked him.).

The few things that I have learned over the years, and were solidified this week were:

1.  Gary does not dread going to work. Ever.  Every year I ask him if he's good to go for another year of teaching and he always says `yes'.  He loves/likes it.  I, on the other hand, got burnt out from teaching full time and don't see myself every doing that again (part time, yes, maybe).  

2.  Gary likes spending time at work and doing the best he can.  For the most part, he loves hanging out with students, teaching them, and coaching them.  I used to get upset at times that he seemed to love going on hiking trips with his classes more than go camping with us.  Or that he liked spending so much time coaching and missing so many dinners and/or bedtimes.  I've realized he wants to do his job well and it gives him great satisfaction, and by doing that, he will have to sacrifice some family time for that.  If he's been working more, `The appropriate response is sympathy, not criticism.' (although balance is needed).

{This picture was from my first classroom back in 2002 I think.  We both started teaching Science 9 at the same school in 2001.}

3. Appreciate the work he does.  Ask about his day.  Say thank you for working so hard.  It doesn't have to be a productivity contest of `Well, I did the laundry, edited a session, vacuumed, made meals, dusted...'.  Ahem, not that I do that.

4. Talk about the lifestyle you both want. Gary and I talk about this a lot. I am very money conscious and take care of most of the finances in our home.  We talk often (at least once a month) about how much we want in savings, what we will use it for, how we can save money, what big purchases will be coming up this year etc. 

There was one VERY surprising thing that came up this week when I talked about this with him.  He thought that if he could make our current household income by himself, that I would still want to work.  NOPE. It's very true that I like to be productive, but I could be busy with waaaaay more fun things than work.  Sports, reading, volunteering, RELAXING.  Louise of 3 years ago would probably want to work and bring money in, but this Louise?  She wants to savour time and energy with her family and find some more time to herself.  I have worked since I was 11 years old (started with babysitting then on to Purdy's Chocolates) and all through university (residence advisor, cafeteria, landscaper), straight to teaching, and then photography and subbing.  Time for a break!!  That being said, Gary doesn't have the option to work more to make more (he already shoots weddings with me as a second job) and I don't want him gone more, so I am so thankful for the work that I do have; babysitting, subbing and photography. Very thankful.

Gary, thank you so much for working all the time to bring home the bacon.   I love bacon!

I hope you had a wonderful weekend.  

Love,

Louise

Showing Love

This picture warms my heart and makes me smile.

{To be honest it also makes me a little concerned that Koey is going to have lice}

My dad and Joanne take the grandkids to Montana's for their 5th birthdays.  Koen has been soooo looking forward to this since his birthday in January.  They get to eat whatever they want and get that special one on one attention.  We eat out as a family maybe once every 2 months (and they don't get whatever they want) so this is very exciting and special to them. 

I love seeing my kids so happy over an experience like this.  I love to see my kids loved.  Another highlight of the kids year is when grandma and grandpa take the kids to pick their Christmas tree in December and then they get a HAPPY MEAL.  

As a funny side note, Koen is under the impression that anyone who turns five gets to go to Montana's with Opi.  He'll meet someone at the park and ask how old they are.  If they are five?  `YOU GET TO GO TO MONTANA'S WITH OPI!!'.  Blank stare in return.

Have a great weekend.

Love, Louise

Thankful Thursday

{If you are new here, every Thursday, I post 10 things that I am thankful for.  They are often iPhone photos because I just take them throughout the week when I recognize something I'm thankful for. }

Thankful for:

1. A great place to buy bread.  I buy the discount bread at McGavin's Bread Basket Store, it's where my mom used to buy it too.  It's near expiry so we just freeze it.  Between five people and three meals, we go through about 1 loaf per day.  I got 20 items (bagels, hamburger buns, bread) for $20!  There is a $5 coupon in the coupon book, one for each month, if you have one.

2.  The patience to bake with the girls (Nya and nieces).  We made a chocolate cake and they loved it. Everyone got a turn to pour ingredients in and to mix.

3. Nya's `new' camping chair.  We didn't have one for her yet and we are going camping THREE TIMES this summer.  $1 from a garage sale. She loves her hippo chair and always makes sure that she has a water bottle in the holder!

4.  Awesome weather.  It was great to look at the weather outlook on Sunday night and realize what a great week we had ahead of us.

5. The kids read the photobooks I've made.  I get nervous that they will wreck them but it's nice to see them appreciate all the work that I put into it.  They love reading about themselves when they were younger.

6.  Nya cooperating for pictures.  With a toddler you never, ever know what will happen. Phew.

7. Koen having a great attitude about biking.  He has been able to bike for a while without training wheels but being that it was wintery and wet for so long, we haven't been able to bike a lot over the last 6 months or so.  Today he finally figured out how to start on his own :)  I loved watching him zip around the park.  Go Koen go!

8. A pair of shorts that fit.  I won't delve into my struggle with my body/weight right now but I have a pair that will fit me nicely this summer.  I got them at the Gap outlet for $14.99!

9. This moment.  These two love each other but pester one another non stop.  Nya will beat on him, Koen will take her things.  They chose to lay side by side for 15 minutes to watch a show together.  I melted a little. There was no fighting and I was shocked. 

10. The gift of cheese from my dad.  Once a month or so, he will give us all (each sister) a block of cheese.  I know this sounds a bit silly but I love it because I always have a hard time spending so much on cheese.  Thanks dad! I'm all about practicality :)

 I hope you can find some things to be thankful for today.  

And, now that I have your attention....I need some fashion advice!  I really like this cream lace dress but I find it too short to wear and be appropriate.  What do I wear it with?  I picture myself wearing a brown belt with it but can I wear leggings with it? What colour? Help me, please.

Thank you, friends!

Love, Louise