Thursday, November 15, 2012

Being Married To Gary

Marriage.  It's good.  I think it's hard to have a great one.  Gary and I hover around 72% most of the time in regards to how we feel things are going  in our marriage.   I know, I'm absolutely ridiculous to put a number to it but that's how I gauge things and that's how I get an idea of how Gary's feeling.  If I ask him, he'll always say `fine'.  Fine?  Fine like `I'm going to make it' or `It'll do' or `Almost really great!' or what?  I guess the good thing about 72% is that there is always something to work towards and we can have a better one.

What stands in our way?  Exhaustion. Kids. A house that needs to be cleaned. Work. Exhaustion.  A calendar that's too full (did I mention that basketball season has started?).  Exhaustion (Nya was up every 2 hours last night!).  A tired wife doesn't feel very loving.  In my opinion.  Oh ya, did I mention that I often find him annoying?   It's probably mostly my fault that I am annoyed with eating sounds (mostly crunching, oh I can't handle it!!),  moving slowly (you would think that because he played basketball for years he could hustle if need be...), different timelines and driving styles and....ya.   As Gary points out, we can't all be as perfect as me:) ha.

However, looking back at these photos that were taken 1.5 years ago, it makes me thankful and happy.   We have two of these as huge prints in our bedroom, above our bed.  It makes me smile when going to bed and makes me a little less frustrated on those days when he drives me crazy:)   I wish I was a little better at following Kai's memory verse from a few months back:
`.... Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.' (James 1:19).  

I am thankful to have such a solid husband.  I am thankful that he is hardworking and that he is a wonderful father.  I'm thankful that he supports me in what I want to do.  Well, except for having a 4th kid...he's not as supportive in that department:)   I'm thankful that he has made the choice to love me forever.  
 I'm also thankful that he can cook so well and does it often.  Seriously, such a bonus!  Yesterday I had salmon covered in bacon.  Yes.  Two of my very favourite things together. Yum.
And, I'm thankful that he vacuumed the stairs this week without me asking him too!  I may have left the vacuum at the bottom of the stairs but still...
I mean, there are a few things I would change.  For example, I wish he was a bit more emotional.  I have seen tears in his eyes three times in my life.  Note, I'm pretty sure that the tears did not leave his eyes.  Watching `Blood Diamonds', when Kai was born (it could've been that he was really tired too...longest night of our lives!), and when I left for Africa.  At the same time, I'm thankful that he's not overly emotional because it helps to balance me out.  
I love Gary.  I am thankful for him.  I wish I was better at telling him every day.  I'm terrible at it.  I remember when we were first married we said that we would say `I love you' and kiss each other every night and somehow, well, that doesn't even happen anymore.  However, he reads my blog daily, so Gary...`I love you and I'm thankful for you!'.
Love, Louise


  1. and this reminded me how much I appreciate both of you. Love your honesty...and I don't think I've ever met anyone else who cant handle crunching. Truly!!!! As soon as Steve brings out a bag of chips I quiver...makes me crazy!!!!

  2. great pics (meg!)
    Alf is with you on the food crunching. drives him bonkers...if he's tired, even worse!
    love the honesty of this and the recognition that a good marriage takes hard work!

  3. oh Gary - he is a good guy. You guys definately balance each other well. Gary - thanks for taking care of Louise and for the my niece and nephews! And Louise - you really don't know how lucky you are with regards to him cooking!

  4. So glad my husband agreed to a fourth kid. Best decision we ever made . (Gary, are you reading this?). :)

    Johnny won't eat corn-on-cob with me for the same reason. Apparently I eat it loudly. How else are you supposed to eat it?

    I love that you guys found each other. God obviously knew what he was doing to bring you together.

  5. Marsalie, when Gary eats corn on the cob, It is one of the most painful things in the world. Megan, Gary is perfecting his chip eating technique for minimal sound. Glad I am not alone in my distaste for crunching!

  6. The fact that he can cook outweighs all his other faults (ooh, that's my stomach talking!) :)