Saturday, April 09, 2011

Potty Training Advice Needed

Okay, so, we started potting training this week. Koen is so different than Kai so I need some advice on this:) Kai was 6 months older than Koen is now, so that could have something to do with it. Kai would just go to the toilet on his own, whenever he had to go. He was totally trained in 3 days.
Koen will go on the toilet only when we take him. We have to take him every 2 hours. He is having about one accident per day. Will he eventually (like soonish) go on his own? Or, are we tied to taking him every two hours. If we don't take him, he will pee his pants and it doesn't really bother him too much. Thoughts?


  1. I don't really have advice per se because kids are all so different. I can tell you what we did. My technique sounds similar to what you are doing. I did give my kids a small treat for the first week or two while training. Something small like a yogourt covered raisin each time they had success. I also set a timer whenever they had to go.
    With Aiden I trained him at 19 months and it took about a week for things to click and him to start going on his own. (I should note that it was only recently that he became night trained)
    I tried Caileigh at 18 months and she just wasn't "getting it" so I stopped altogether and she started again at 21 months. She took a day or two.
    With Mikayla, I waited until closer to 2 because of everything else going on in our lives. After a week, I thought she was trained. I noticed though that if I wasn't taking her, she would have an accident. I also encountered power struggles with her which I hadn't really had with the others. I stopped altogether and did nothing for a month. It was then that she started going on her own and has been trained for a month and a half, although still wears diapers at night.
    I suppose what you do with Koen will depend on how you feel about continually taking him. He is so clever that I don't imagine it would take long for things to click for him. I wonder if you gave it another week and then you could decide to either keep going or to drop it for awhile.
    I will be interested to see what you do and how it works. I need to get some ideas for my next 2 in line.
    Keep us posted!

  2. With Ani I had to take her every two hours or so for the first month and then she started telling me and I still had to go with her. She was about same age as Koen. Izzy was just about three, she went by herself all the time and I only really had to help her for a day. Was totally worth waiting until she was ready. (she fought so hard up to that point.) I think if you are willing to put in the time/energy try it out for another week and stay at home and leave him in underwear at ALL times (except bed.)If it does not work at that point then I would say wait a few month when he and you are a bit more ready.

  3. Ok, I have no advice, but can I jump on the advice train?? I'm reading these other comments Louise, and I'm totally stuck like you, but these people seem to have some great answers!
    Lyra is half trained as long as she is in pullups but I have no idea to get her fully trained... she pees all the time in normal underwear and doesn't care. She is almost 3. Here is my possibly dumb question, but i really need help on it because it is stopping me from putting her in underwear all day: does anyone know of a good product that will get these potential pee stains/puddles out of carpet and furniture?

  4. Listen to your sister! :)

    Max was super easy to train in two weeks, dry and clean day and night with only a few accidents. No more than a month and he was good to go. I started Marty at the same age (28 mos.) and it was a nightmare. I didn't wait for cues from him, I just had it in my head that he should be trained. I wanted to be sure he was ready for preschool. He was so not ready. He'd sit on the potty for 2 hours watching a movie then get up and pee or poo on the floor. After about two weeks of constant messes (even though I set the timer like you and Ashley did) I decided to give us both a break. 5 months later we tried again (at Max's prompting) and he got it no problem. He had about a year of occasional poop accidents (and just being lazy) and I wonder if part of that is from the "power struggles" we experienced the first attempt. Don't rush him just because it worked so well with Kai. If he's not ready, it's totally not worth persisting.Trust me that it really is more enjoyable to change diapers than try to train a child who's not ready! I wasn't even going to try with Jax till he's three, but will maybe give it a go when we're home from our holidays in the summer. He and I will be home together all day in the fall so that might be a good time. Maybe it would be easier to try in the summer when Gary's home?

  5. Hey everyone, thanks for the advice so far!
    I do want to clarify that although Kai was trained so quickly, he actually still wears a pull up at night. Yes, almost 2 years after being dry during the day, he can't do it at night, even when we take him to the bathroom at 11pm. I am okay with this (we are working on it!) but Gary and I also had night time issues when we were kids too:) Too much info? He is the heaviest sleeper. I can vacuum in his room and he wont' wake up.

    I think I'm okay expending energy on this because it has gotten better and better each day. We are on day four now. I actually put him in a cloth diaper when we go out so I'm not nervous about him peeing all over the place.

    It's not too stressful because when we put him on the toilet, if he's going to pee, he'll do it within 30 seconds, so, I think he's getting it pretty good. I guess every kid is so different so you never know how long it will take! The reason I started him is because when we were on holidays, he would tell us he had to poop and we would put him on the toilet and he would do it! I was pretty excited and thought he was ready.

    Pam-we have laminate floors on the main floor so there is no problem. Does it stain? I haven't noticed that...hmmmm...Oh Lyra, she's a strong willed one isn't she:)

  6. Pam - do you know anyone who sells Norwex? I started using their "Carpet Stain Buster" when I had my terrible first training attempt with my second boy. The stuff is a-mazing! You can use it on furniture too, and it's not harmful to people or the planet. That and a big orange chamoix were my best friends.

    Louise - if you think 4 days is too long then you're in for trouble. :) Kidding aside, as long as he's not fighting you on it, keep at it another week or so. If he could care less, that could be another sign that he's not ready.

    None of my boys wore Pull-Ups. We have some great mattress protector sheets (like they give you in the hospital after delivery, just bigger). I got them in Rupert and haven't seen them anywhere else. Summer Infant brand - similar to this but not quite as big ...

    He might not wake up to the feeling to go pee, but maybe wake up to the feeling of being wet? Yup it's a pain to change sheets in the night but so is paying all that extra money for Pull-Ups. Maybe put a waterproof sheet over his mattress (under the sheet) and see if he wakes up when he actually pees. Maybe the crinkling of the sheet would be enough for him to get serious about staying dry?

  7. Here's some advice from an old lady from a ddifferent generation ( and it actually came from MY mom!). Kids train themselves when they are ready. You can start at two and take 6 months for success, or the child starts at 2 1/2 and takes 3 days. (change the age according to each kid). In the end both kids are toilet trained at 2 1/2, but a lot let stress for the whole family if you wait for the child to initiate it.

    I'm sure this doesn't work for every child as we all have to adjust our parenting to indiviual needs, but I think its a worth while principle.

    Still so enjoying all your photos of Amarys - thankyou!!

    Melissa's mom

  8. RAchel-we have put Kai in undies at night with a mattress protector and when he pees, he sleeps in it all night, he has no idea! WE might try again to see if he'll wake up but it seems like a lot of laundry to me!

    Nancy-I totally agree with you. It was so easy with Kai because we waited until he was really, really ready. I'm hoping it's less than 6 months though:) Maybe because he's 27 months, it won't take as long? Glad you love the photos, I like them too:) Thanks for commenting!

  9. With all three of my kids, I trained them when I was ready...none of this waiting for them to be ready stuff. :) Clearly they were all ready, because it was relatively painless. As soon as I put in the effort, it was done. My boy was very similar to Koen. I just took him to the potty every 1-2 hours and eventually he got it. There were accidents, but every week they got fewer and fewer. I have not had the overnight problems...when I stopped diapers, I stopped them day and night, so I don't have any advice on that one. That must be frustrating though! You are already doing everything I can think of. Koen sounds totally ready to me if he pees as soon as you put him on the potty. It will just take a little bit of time to get his brain to realize that feeling means he needs to go and fast! Good luck.

  10. I agree with my mom, and apparantly my grandma! Wait til they are ready. In my opinion, though, a child who has only ONE accident per day like Koen, is ready! As for how long it takes--anywhere from three days to three years, dude. Every kid is different. Patience, patience, patience! I've never had pee stain any of my floors, laminate or carpet!

    And Matthew's urologist told us that 20% of six year olds still wet the bed at night, so Kai's still very normal to need a pullup at night!

  11. And for Pam; have you tried naked instead of in underwear? I find when starting out that my kids (boys, so it might be different with girls!) do best if they spend several hours per day naked, until they get the hang of it, then switch to underwear!

    As for pee stains, vinegar and water usually does the trick for me!

  12. As a side note about the night time training, Aiden is like Kai and a very heavy sleeper. We spent the last year talking with him and trying different things to help him but he just did not physically wake up. I wondered at one point if he was able to control it and told him that once he was able to stay dry at night, we would buy him any lego set he wanted. He couldn't do it and I knew then that it was out of his control. Two months ago, something clicked and he just started waking up dry! We actually threw a "party" and had cake and everything to celebrate because it was so exciting. And yes, he did get to pick out a Lego set.
    I have also heard, like Melissa, that it is very common. 3 of Aiden's friends (all 5) still wet at night.
    It sure sounds like Koen is doing great!

  13. Ashley, we did the same thing, a HUGE incentive. When it didn't work, we knew it was out of his control. Looking forward to the party we will throw him whenever it does happen:) In the meantime, I'm not too concerned as it sounds pretty normal!

  14. Ok, this is another side note but I knew a family, their daughter was 6, and they were frustrated about her night wetting so they bought this sensor that they clipped to her underwear and when she started to go pee, an alarm would sound and wake her up. Apparently it worked but doesn't that sound a little scary?!

  15. thanks for the pee clean up advice... I've used vinegar and baking soda for her accidents. it seems to have worked but didn't know if there was something better out there.

    Louise, you have some very thoughtful and helpful friends and family here! I kept putting Lyra back into diapers if she did an accident, telling her that big girls go potty. She HATES diapers. So really, she's only had one accident per day because I never gave her a chance to have another :) I think I'm going to try the naked approach it sounds like it might clue her in. Oh, my strong willed Lyra... I love her, but boy does she like to have her own way... even at her own expense!!