Sunday, May 06, 2007


Mom, I miss you. Tomorrow it will be one year since you left us here and I think of you every day. I think you would be proud of us in regards to how strong we've been and how we've all stuck together, but that doesn't mean we don't miss you. I wish that you were across the street so that Kai and I could visit. I wish that I could show you how cute he is because, he really, really is. I wish that I could hear you laugh one more time, you know the laugh where you hold nothing back. I wish that we could go on walks together and talk about how overpriced all these houses are. I wish that you could tell me what I was like as a baby. I wish that I could see you in the kitchen making some yummy muffins. I wish that you and I could take Kai for a walk. I really wish you met him mom, he's such a happy little boy. I wish I could give you one more super hug. I wish that I could hear you cleaning the bathrooms and singing away. I wish that we could have more tea times.
I thank you for the homemade recipe book you made us, whenever I use it, I feel like you. I thank you for teaching us how important it is to be nice and to smile:) I thank you for all those years of taking care of us (and 5 of us at that!!!) when we were young and for encouraging and supporting us as we got older. I thank you for a life time of amazing memories.
I miss you when I'm feeding Kai in the highchair because I think of all those years of you fed us. I miss you when people talk about being with their moms. I miss you when the family is all together. I miss you when I walk around the neighbourhood because I'm now doing the walk that you and dad used to do. I miss you when I find a good deal and I know you'd be proud. I miss you when Kai's being a pain in the butt and I wish you could take him for an hour. I miss you when Kai was sick because I wanted to call you. I miss you when I see a lady with your hair. I miss you when I see a lady with your petite figure. I miss you when I hear about Crescent beach. I miss you when I know that you'd be the perfect one to edit my papers. I miss you when I see the cherry blossoms filling your yard. I miss you when I see dad. I miss you when I see your recliner or your coffee mug. I miss you a lot.
I know you would've loved to have stayed for a bit longer, and I hope that somehow you still know what's going on here. Sometimes I dream about you and it's like you are really here. I miss you mom...we all do. You would've loved seeing Annika's first steps. YOu would've loved celebrating Jan's bday in her basement suite or hearing about her latest fiasco (you always loved her story telling, you'd always laugh so hard). You would've loved being there when Kai was born (I don't know how you did 5 natural births) and seen how big he was! You would've loved seeing Jackie and Tyler so happy together and guess what? She's going to Africa:) What about Trisha's job, you def. would've been proud of her.
Mom, I picture you in heaven just smiling and singing. No more cancer, no more pain. Pure happiness. I'll see you again.


  1. Thanks for sharing this intimate tribute.

  2. Ah, Louise, you ought to put a disclaimer in the title of that one: Warning! You will cry when you read this! XOXO to you and your family, and a special hug for you. Thanks for sharing this with us!

  3. I was thinking the same thing, a little warning :) I'm tearing up here in my office. Your love is so amazing, you must have learned it from you mom.

  4. I don't know you, I found your site jumping from a friend of a friend's blog, but I lost my mom a year and a half ago, and am right about at the same place in life as you seem to be. It's amazing how missing a mom changes over time, but can bring out such strong feelings at a moment's notice. What a beautiful letter to your mom. Thank you for sharing it and giving me a chance to cry for both of our losses.
    We rejoice for our moms' eternal home, but the hole they leave behind is significant.

  5. Anonymous10:16 PM

    From a Mother;
    I have daughters who are turing into fine young ladies, a bit younger than you I think. As a mother I could not wish for any greater tribute than you have given to your mother. We,you being a mother as well, could ask for nothing more than to be so richly blessed, to have children who love us as you and the rest of your family loved your Mom.
    It is amazing how the Lord fills us with so much grace as to allow us to share that love. Our hearts have many rooms, each door opening to someone/thing special that we love. May your Mothers room always have an open door so you can continue to share that love with those around you. God bless you, Louise and your little family.

  6. Great words. Praying for you and your family today.

  7. Ok- now I have tears in my eyes. I'll continue to pray for you, especially during this year anniversary- I can't imagine. . .

  8. Anonymous4:26 PM

    lou - happy mother's day to a wonderful mom who had one of the best examples around!!! there is no doubt how proud she would be watching you with kai. ali

  9. I am really crying hard now. That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. You know, I realize just now that I have got to stop complaining about and criticizing my mother and begin cherishing every moment I have with her - they are few enough as it is.