Five Tips For Hiking With Kids

Gary and I really enjoy hiking–we even did the West Coast Trail, with a bunch of friends, on our honeymoon! Now that we have three kids, we want to foster that love for the outdoors in them as well. Besides, if we want to get any hiking in, we usually take them with us because babysitters are so expensive.

{McKee Peak: Abbotsford, B.C.}

We love to explore our vast province of B.C. on day hikes–there are so many incredibly beautiful options.

In order to keep hiking fun, here are my five tips for hiking with kids:

1.  Let them see the map and know the plan. 

My kids love to know the distances and therefore sign posts and markers along the way help them to see their progress. Be realistic with how long it will take and let them know so that there are no surprises or meltdowns. I'm a pretty time-orientated person so I try to remember to relax and enjoy the journey.

{Dog Mountain: Mt. Seymour, B.C.}

2. Snacks and water.

Hiking is hard work and filling them up with protein will give them the long term energy that they need; we usually pack pepperoni sticks, nuts, and granola bars. If we're going a bit longer, we make sure that we have sandwiches too. We have a hydration pack but carry extra water bottles--our family sweats a lot. Okay, I sweat a lot.

{McKee Peak: Abbotsford, B.C.}

3.  Start with an easier hike to build up their confidence.

One of the first hikes we did with our boys was the Grouse Grind (at ages 4 and 6)--even though they rocked it, I wouldn't recommend it. Start with a nice flat hike and take a carrier or stroller along just in case. Try to keep those first hikes to under an hour.

{Rainforest Loop: Tofino, BC}

4.  Make sure they have good shoes and layers. 

Good runners are a must--tie them up securely. Check that their socks have no holes and protect the knees of your younger kids who tend to get scraped up a little more easily. Hiking for us often happens in the mornings or in the shade so layers are recommended. Don't forget a hat and sunscreen!

{Dog Mountain: Mt. Seymour, B.C.}

5. Have a fun destination. 

What is at the end of the hike? A beach? A lookout?A lighthouse? Make sure there is something to make the hike seem more worthwhile! If they're not that into the view, perhaps pulling out a special treat will make it more exciting.

{Lower Falls: Golden Ears, B.C.}

{Dog Mountain: Mt. Seymour, B.C.}

I'd love to hear if you have any other tips!  

Love,

Louise

PS Parents: you might want to use hiking poles if carrying a child in order to ensure better stability and less pressure on your knees.

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Chicken Rolls | My Birthday Dinner

Before my mom passed away, she gave each of us girls a recipe book which contained all of our childhood favourites. Every year we picked a birthday meal and this was mine year after year: Chicken Rolls. I loved it because we didn't have chicken very often and it was baked in homemade dough. Let's be honest, we were a meat and potato family growing up so this was a very nice change from the norm. Covering it all with a thick layer of cheese sauce was the icing on the cake.

Since we've been married, Gary has taken on the role of making this special meal for me and I really appreciate it.  I think I now love it it because it brings me back to my childhood, my mama, and well, it just tastes good!

I'll write it out for you here:

Dough:

1.  Mix the first 4 ingredients:
2 1/4 cup flour
4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 TBSP sugar

2. Cut in 7/8's of this mixture into the dry ingredients.
 1/4 cup of butter
 3/4 cup of warm milk
1/4 cup of water

Chicken Mixture:

3. Cook  the following:
1 1/2 cups of chicken (we just use a pre-cooked roasted chicken and probably add more than 1 1/2 cups)
1/2 tsp paprika
1/3 cup onions
salt and pepper
1-2 TBSP of milk
Random assortment of veggies like shredded zucchini, carrots, celery

Putting it together:

4.  Roll out the dough and sprinkle the chicken mixture on top plus the remaining 1/8th of the butter/milk/water combo.  Roll it up (like sushi) and slice it so that each piece fits in a muffin tin.

5. Bake at 450F for 15-20 minutes in a pre-greased muffin tin.

6.  Make a cheese sauce (butter, flour, milk and cheese) and top with green onions.


Do you have a special birthday meal?  If so, what is it?

Love,
Louise

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for:

1.  Koen losing his first tooth--he's been waiting a long time!  Our brave little boy suddenly became so afraid of having his tooth come out and wouldn't let me near it!  He took it out on his own. PS Did you know Koen's name means "brave"?

2. Better sleep. At the 1 am wake up (there's also a 9:30 pm and 11:00 pm one), I moved into Little One's room and was able to sleep until 6 am!  Progress, people.  I'm tired.  I know 7 hours and 34 minutes looks like a lot (it is) but it's going to take a lot of these nights to make up for what we've gone through! (And I really have a goal of sleeping in my own bed!)

3. A great walk through Campbell Valley Park.  We are going to get our next family photo done right there.

4.  My Nya Bear.  I love her so much.  I feel like I'm missing out on so much with her as Gary is spending more time with her so I can spend time with the Little One.  It's hard but she's handling it quite well. She is soooooooooooooooo excited for preschool to start.  

5.  My first macaroon.  A friend of mine dropped it off from the Sweet Bake Shop.  Very sweet of her, thanks L.  Dude, these things are pretty intricate!

6.  A husband who makes healthy meals.  These days I'm so exhausted that I'm tempted to just eat chips for dinner.  Gary would be mortified so I'm thankful that he's home to make delicious and healthy meals for all of us.

7.  A great 9th birthday for Kai Bear.  He had a good time with friends and I'm glad that so many were able to join him as summer birthdays are tricky. 

8.  Camp for the kids.  The three big kids got to go to a church camp every morning this week!  Originally the plan was for Gary and I to go hiking each day but with a sick Little One, we mostly stayed home but did several walks like the Houston Trail (which is very hilly!)

9. Another year of life. Okay, sounds dramatic, but it's my birthday tomorrow!  I'm thankful that I got to experience almost 37 years of life so far :)  THIRTY SEVEN.  Wow. I still think I'm 28. 

10. I escaped for a movie this week.  It felt so good to be out of the house for 3 hours and just worry about myself!!! There were less than 10 of us in the theatre because we had to go to a 4 pm show so I could do the bedtime routine :)  Thanks, L.

I hope you are having a great week!

Love, 

Louise

Kai's 9th Birthday Party

Kai Bear had his 9th birthday party this past weekend.  Last year we had an Amazing Race themed one which he really enjoyed.   This year, we had a little less time and energy so we had a low-key hockey party and everyone still had a lot of fun.  I have to admit that birthday parties at his age are a little less exciting for me but he loves it and it was a great opportunity to get together with friends that he hasn't seen over the summer. 

I'm only including photos without other kids' faces so it looks like he's sort of partying alone.  He had seven friends from school come which was great--summer birthdays are tricky, believe me, I know!

They played hockey, soccer and marbles.  The marbles were Kai's idea; I actually have no idea how to play but Gary taught them all.  Then they took home their own marble set.

Due to a sick Little One, Gary had to do the whole party himself and did a wonderful job.  I walked down to deliver the pizza and to join in the singing of  Happy Birthday.  Yes, a candle in an ice cream sandwich--he's not a big fan of cake.

I'm glad that he was so happy with such a simple (and cheap!) party.  I really enjoy seeing my kids being active and having fun with their friends.

Oh, and the bonus?  I didn't have to clean up any mess at our own house!  Do you have any other simple (and affordable) birthday party ideas?

Love,
Louise

An Honest Look At Where We're At

So....how are things going after adding another child to our family through fostering?  It started off with a lot of adrenaline and emotional (for all of us) and has now morphed into a time of exhaustion and cuddles and some "wonderful" viruses.

How are our biological kids doing?  They are amazing.  The boys are respectful and sweet with this Little One and they really don't notice much of a change in our family.  Nya is probably noticing it the most as her role of the little cuddle bug is being fought for.  Fortunately my lap is big enough for the two of them and she is patient enough to wait if need be.  I would say the hardest part with Nya is bedtime.  She's always loved when I put her to bed (it's really just a 5 minute process of teeth brushing, story, song and prayer) and we need to figure out better timing so that I can do this while Gary watches the Little One in the bath.  The L.O'.s bedtime routine is about 2 hours long.  A huge contributor to our kids doing so well is that Gary is home to provide more one-on-one time and to take care of all of the meals.

How is the Little One doing? Good--eating, drinking, playing, laughing, cuddling; this is definitely a change from the beginning.  The day time is way easier than I thought.  Yes, there are tantrums but not much beyond what my own kids did.  The night time?  This is what I dread.  One of my greatest fears with fostering was not getting enough sleep.  I need my sleep; seven hours a night is preferable.  Right now we are going on about 4 hours of interrupted sleep a night and it's really taking it's toll on our family.  Our kids sleep through it but Gary and I are exhausted which means we aren't the most patient parents.

Often when kids have trauma in their lives they are in a hyper-vigilant mode of  always being on guard of danger.  At the beginning, L.O. would wake every hour, stand up immediately and run to the bedroom door and scream. And scream. And scream.  The only way we got sleep was if I was lying on the other bed in the room holding L.O's hand.   Due to illness, we've taken a step back and there are still night wakings at 11 pm, 1 am, 3 am and sometimes 5 am.  There isn't as much terror but there is crying for anywhere from 1 minute to an hour so we're working on this.  I honestly don't know how a child can function on so little sleep.

How am I doing?  Well, you can probably hear that I'm exhausted.  We were finally on a roll and then this Little One got pretty sick.  That changed a lot--and not for the good. We are stuck at home due to being contagious (just L.O. is) and the miserable factor went way up.  Yes, I know going through illness together will likely lead to a better attachment and feeling safe but OH MY GOODNESS I CAN'T DO THE NO SLEEP THING. I feel like I need a PhD in psychology to know how to approach the night times...good thing I have a minor ;) Ha. I feel good during the day time like "I can do this!" and then at night I feel like "Oh my goodness, I don't know what to do!  I can't do this for another year!"  I have to continually give myself a pep talk "You're keeping this child safe.  You are providing a safe and loving home.  You are making a difference.  Be patient. Be loving. You can do this."  The day times are fine with just being more aware of where this child is at all times, driving a lot, and navigating a relationship with birth mom--I've learned a lot about this birth mom/foster mom dynamic through it; in case you didn't know, I'm a tad sensitive.   I'm also adjusting to a whole lot less "me time"--you know, like 10 minutes a day.  I think it's also important to add that I love this child; I wasn't sure if I would (maybe that sounds mean but I had no idea how I would feel) and I'm very glad that I do.

I think that's an honest look at where we are.  I hope that if I write an update on our family next month it has sentences in it like: SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!  ONE HOUR BEDTIME ROUTINE (OR LESS)!!  I WISH I KNEW IT WOULD GET SO MUCH BETTER!!

I hope you are having a good weekend with a lot more sleep than we're getting.

Love,
Louise

Thankful Thursday

Okay, this week has been a bit of a doozy with highs (a tad more sleep) and lows (pretty sick Little One), but right now, I will focus on all that I am thankful for!

1. Gary turned 40 and bought "himself" three Paw Patrol puppies for the kids to help take care of.

2.  So many yummy meals.  I get to edit photos and Gary takes care of all the meals.

3.  Friends. We had these two over for dinner and I appreciate that they played UNO and Wii with my kids for an hour while I put the littlest one to bed.  Then we went for a walk and watch a show with some wine. Perfect, right?  Thanks to my awesome husband for making most of the food.

4.  Our oldest son turning 9.  Very thankful for him in our lives!

5.  More birthdays.  We celebrated my niece, G's, birthday too!

6.  The boys' love for their sister.  They pretty much fight over who gets to play with her every single day.  

7.  Our video monitor.  I know there's creepy stories about monitors out there but this one is secure.  We can watch the Little One in his/her room to ensure safety and there is a second camera set up in the basement for that same reason (that's Nya in the photo).  I can speak through it, play music and move the camera to follow movements.

8.  A one hour walk with Gary at Crescent Beach. We needed it.  So nice to hold hands and talk uninterrupted...even though he's home for the summer, the addition of #4 along with wedding season has made life busier and just different.  We're transitioning.

9.  Summer reading program.  The kids received medals for 5 weeks of reading 15 minutes a day.  Koen's reading has improved drastically as we were not that dedicated in reading with him throughout the school year.

10.  All-you-can-eat sushi!  We went for Gary's birthday lunch and everyone loved it.  It was just $50 for our whole family (called Azumae.)

11.  Cooler weather! I feel like I was wearing the same shorts every day because...I pretty much was.  I've lost weight since last summer and I didn't want to invest too much into summer clothes in case it came back (it hasn't). The cooler weather has allowed me to wear my new Gap capris (VV) and H&M sweater!

I hope that you are having a good week! I feel like my blogging has been lacking due to a major decrease in free time and limited sleep.  I think that in two more weeks I'll be feeling "normal"--dare I say that?  Until then, please keep reading :)

Love, 

Louise

Gary Turns 40

Today Gary turns the big 4-0.  We aren't having a big party as his request was just to spend some time with the kids (all-you-can-eat sushi is in the plans) and one-on-one time with me.  

I am so thankful for this man in my life.  I know he must miss the days of watching hours of sports uninterrupted on the couch but has has done such a great job at putting me and the kids first.  Parenting and marriage have encouraged us to become more selfless.  Not always a fun process but still a rewarding one.  Yes, we would like a little more time for just the two of us, but that will come, and for now we will appreciate our evenings on the couch together.

I have never been more happy to be married to this guy.  He sees the "big picture", loves us unconditionally, and makes us all feel special and important.

In honour of your 40th birthday, here is your favourite kind of poem, Gary:

G-great chef

A-always a nickname for everyone

R-ready to help

Y-Y chromosome recipient

We love you, Gary!

Love, 

Louise

Kai Turns Nine: Halfway to Adulthood

Today our Kai Bear turns nine.  He let me know that he is officially halfway to being an adult which made me stop and think.  An adult?  Yes, I can see it.  Kai is a typical oldest child in that he's responsible and a good leader. Yes, he might like to lead a bit much and is a touch too competitive, but really, if that's our biggest concern right now, then I'd say we're just fine.

Kai, we love you so much.  From a 9 lb 11 oz baby to a 68 lb nine-year-old, we are so thankful that we have been here with you along the way; growing together.  We love watching your soft and gentle side with Nya; the way you encourage her and cuddle together on the couch melts my heart.  I love when you play peek-a-boo with Little One and get those big giggles in return. We appreciate when you and Koen play creatively and cooperatively together; you two are such good buddies...and wrestling partners.  I love when you curl up next to me on the couch and say, "I love mama."  It's awesome to see you running with dad and training for your next 5 km race--what a fun way to spend time together.

I'm not afraid of you growing up; I know you will make mistakes--we all do, but I know your heart.  I know your desire to do what's right and to work hard.  I know that God has great plans for you.

We love you so much, Kai Bear.  I hope you always know and feel that in your heart.

Love,
Mom

PS Your freckles are so cute.

What I Learned as a First-Time Foster Mom

I am a resource gatherer. When I find myself in a new situation, I like to find out all my options for navigating it. What do my friends do? Who are the experts and what do they do? What books are recommended? Podcasts? Videos? Although it can be overwhelming, it works for me. As much as you read into something before it happens, you don't know how you will be feeling and what factors will affect you. I also like to record thoughts and experiences; it allows me to look back and see where I was and how far I've come (or not.) We always think that we'll remember just how things were, but somehow, that's usually harder than we think.  I write this to remember, to inform, and to share with others who may be heading out on the same journey.

These are the things I learned early on as a first-time foster mom:

1.  There will be multiple plans in place – A,B and C – when a child is removed from their home.  We were called several times once we were active just in case Plan A or B did not work.  You might be open to children aged three to six, but with limited homes, you will likely be presented with a child outside of your preferred range (except for a child under the age of one as you need Safe Babies Training for that.)

2. There are many people involved with many appointments. There's my own social worker (called a Resource Social Worker), the child's social worker, the child, birth family (including extended and all it's intricacies), doctors, lawyers, teachers, child development team, respite care etc. There is also a lot of paperwork to fill out. Write down every phone number and email address that you think you may ever need because you will need them.

3. It can happen very quickly. Usually as a foster parent, you get a phone call where the child is described to you (as much as they know) and then you need to make a decision within the hour. Once that decision is made, the child can be in your home almost immediately.

4.   Transitions can be tough. Find out what makes them feel safe. For example, holding a special toy as they go into the car or bath or bed. Figure out if they prefer to be held in your arms or holding your hand when moving into a new situation. Take your time in those transitions to make them feel safe.

5.  It is lonely. I am a very open book. I like to share, share, and share some more. To keep my own life private is difficult because I work through feelings by letting them all out. I love community. Find "your people" who are your listeners, resources, pray-ers, and encouragers. You will likely cry a lot in the first few days due to exhaustion and the sheer magnitude of all of the layers involved.

6.  You can make a difference in a short amount of time. The hours and hours spent with the child will slowly allow them to trust you and they will begin to feel safe. Smiles and giggles may be seen and heard sooner than you think. They will "thaw out" and their true personality will start to emerge.

7.  Your biological kids may pleasantly surprise you with all their love and compassion; they may even offer up their own comfort items to the child. They will initiate new games and connect to the child in a different way than you might. This is truly special to be a part of and I'm pretty sure Kai was the recipient of the first smile.

8. Food is your friend.  Find out what they love and stock up; be sure to take favourite snacks along with you. Keeping blood sugar levels regulated is so helpful with their behaviour, just think about how you feel when you're hungry or thirsty.

9. Like parenting any child, there is no "right way" to do things. There are wrong ways – physical discipline is not okay when fostering. Sleep is a big tricky one. Do you stay with them as they try to sleep? If so, how long? When do you try to get them to self-soothe? Listen to your gut and heart and err on the side of softness.

10. Routine. Routine. Routine. My lack of spontaneity has come in handy.

11.  The nights are difficult and likely harder than you think they will be. It takes a while for the child to feel safe and that is a must before they will have a good (or decent) sleep and therefore YOU having a good night's sleep. A routine before bed along with a nightlight, white noise, and comfort item all help, but usually your presence in their room, until they are asleep, is best (this is the conclusion that I came to after weighing all the options and advice.) You can read or be on a computer, but just be in the room. My friend suggested that I rethink this time because I was feeling like my "me time" was gone. Now I see 7-9 pm as my time to work uninterrupted (in a dark room) on the computer, catch up on emails, or read a book. Hopefully this "me time" in the dark doesn't go on for too long though, I would like to be able to go out at night. We are also experimenting with essential oils.

12.  You will celebrate some seemingly small milestones. For example, if a child finally holds a toothbrush after screaming any time it gets near, celebrate. If they then let you make brushing motions outside their mouth, cheer! And if they let you brush their teeth for the first time, that means they are feeling a whole lot safer with you. Cheer and celebrate and they'll likely let you do it again.

13.  Self-care. You cannot care well for others if you are not looking after yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Accept and ask for help. Care often falls on the woman because the child may feel more comfortable with females; make sure your partner knows how to help you. I am so incredibly thankful that Gary is home for the next month!

14. Thoughts and feeling will vary especially at the very beginning. From "I don't think I can stand this child one minute longer" (usually at 3 am when they've been crying off and on for hours) to "I love this child and can't imagine them leaving" so make sure you have a sounding board. If you have to, leave the child in a safe place for five minutes, vent as much as you need, and go back in.

The learning never ends, and fortunately, I love new ideas and information. The tricky part is who or what to listen to (as in any situation) but if you take all advice given, and work it so that it fits your life and heart, you can find a plan that works. And prayer, oh boy, I don't think I've ever prayed so much or asked so many people for prayer.

This is just the beginning for us. I wonder what my "What I Learned After Being a Foster Parent For a Year" post will look like!  If you have general questions about fostering,  I can try to answer them.

Love,
Louise

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PS Here are some great videos to watch on adoption and fostering children from hard places.